Clothing appropriate gene lacking

What is it when the weather does that subtle shift from blazing hot to pleasant and bearable that makes people want to drag out all their sweaters, vests and parka’s? What common sense factor seems to be lacking that would cause a person to don a heavy vest when the temperature is 20C. PEOPLE. It is still summer. While it is not so hot that you cannot breathe, move or function, it is lovely and pleasant and hardly warrants more than a light sweater first thing in the morning. You do not need a heavy jacket, a parka, layers or a bloody scarf, and good lord girls, keep the UGS packed away at least until October. Are they still in style?

Is it the longing for the fall and winter attire that lead to this fashion blunder? The joy at hiding the hidden pounds under layers, trading the illusion of thin for the stench of sweating from being overdressed? Wanting and needing to touch that favorite vest (insert finger in mouth to cause gagging) that has been packed away all summer? I saw a fellow on the streetcar in his fashionable gangster wear parka, and he looked happy if I do say so myself. All those pockets for “STUFF” no one else can see. How did he survive the summer exposed?

And vests don’t even get me started on vests. Suffice it to say I live in the “BEACHES” (yes BEACH people, I will not conform) where having a baby, dog and a vest are a prerequisite for residing there. Why the animosity towards vests? I am not sure, but if you ever see me in one you have my permission to tie me up and force me to watch non-stop reruns of CHARLIES ANGELS until my brain explodes. This is no small beer to me. I am usually a fairly staid but lately I want to run through the beaches naked ripping off the parka’s and vests, singing Beach Boy songs.

I was at a craft show yesterday where one of the vendors was actually was wrapped in a blanket most of the day. It did not go up to the 28C they had originally called for, but it was a nice 20C. It was not cold. IT WAS NOT COLD. What strange phenomenon is happening to people that they feel cold where none exists? Are we lazy perhaps and our blood in congealing in our veins? Could that be it? Now and then a fellow warm person would walk by in a tank and I had to repress the urge to hug them.

I refuse to give up my tanks and sandals just yet, and neither should you. For shame.