Blue Monday
It is said that Monday, January 21st is the most depressing day of this New Year. I am not sure how or why these sentiments came into being but alas we live in a world where we must label and analyze everything in front of us, instead of just living the moment and knowing ourselves what is the truth. The truth is all relative to the person.
I dislike the label relationship; only desperate people need advertise it. We are all having a relationship with life, with those we meet, work with, fuck, talk to. Why dwell on such things. I thought for a time I wanted to be one of those people but that has passed. I guess what I require from the male species in order to make me happy on a personal level is too much. However I have no issue with being single the rest of my life if that is in the cards. I do not need a man to make me happy nor define who I am. I had plenty of love affairs when I was younger and I was very giving and open. I feel I am not so giving or open these days, but the person close to me who sees the real me will forgive this side of me.
I have girlfriends who feel the same way, who are tired of the mundane cycle of the so called relationship. We do not fall into the category of women men are looking for; nice, accommodating, no tension, and lots of blowjobs.
I just ended (last night) a fling lets call it, of three months, with a man I enjoyed hanging with and fucking, because every time there was any complication or drama in his life he ceased being that man, and would cancel on me and hide out until he resolved things. I may hide also while in the dark place but I am not so pathetic. But hey it was fun and all things have a time frame, the key is being conscious of when that is, and recognizing it. People too often stay in a pairing based on what society thinks of them, rather than a real connection. Being with someone is better than being alone they think. I say WRONG!!
Look around next time you are out shopping or getting groceries. Watch carefully all the women running around doing things for the men in their lives, in order to make them appreciate them and not cheat on them or want other women. Watch them cooking cleaning having sex giving head watching hockey standing outside the raised engine of the car looking interesting in everything they say. I would rather eat dirt. So busy most women wake up one day, unhappy with some pot bellied husband who does nothing but complain and watch TV, and realize in that instance they forgot to live their lives. I hear there are benefits to having a husband? Besides help financially can you fill me in again?
SO I think my phase of wanting sex and companionship has dwindled into nothingness again. While I appreciate what spurned it on in the first place, a sense of lost time, I have come into realization that the time spent alone was the happiest and most productive I have ever had. Men are just life suckers, they demand you listen to their prattle, feed their ego's, smile and nod when expected, engage in activities and chatter you otherwise could not be bothered with.
Who has time?
he