Divorcing Friends

I have always been amazed at the bond and connection between friends. You can clearly recognize friends who have a great deal of respect for each other and who work on maintaining a positive friendship. There is a secret language, knowledge that you do not and will not judge, no matter what the situation. Is a friendship not a relationship, one that if you take for granted, could falter? I would have to say yes it is, like a relationship with the opposite sex, a friendship can become sour with time, less enchanting, something you feel like escaping from. However, how does one leave a friendship?

Knowing that I wonder why we do not work harder to maintain our friendships and family ties, looking at the enormous amount of energy we put into pleasing and primping for the opposite sex? How quickly we judge our siblings for saying or doing something that we may feel is not appropriate. We are all quite different, if this much is said to be true is it not true that we act and react differently? Once you start putting more energy into pleasing the fleeting guest than someone you supposedly love, something is wrong and this something, small or large, will translate into how the relationships progresses or stagnates.

There are certain rules to a friendship. There are not many that go beyond the realm of common sense, of respect, of love. They are as follows.

1. Never tell a friend to fuck-off. There is a fun "oh fuck-off" followed by a laugh and a friendly smirk. Then there is the contempt filled one. Fun is ok.
2. Never sleep with friends ex, EVER. I do not care how cute he or she is. There is always someone else to have sex with. A year from now you will have forgotten.
3. Never make demands of a friend, friends are like books, they should be nearby where you can find them.
4. Do not judge, which means if your opinion is asked for then offer, but do not stand on a higher ground offering condemnation, a friendship does not give you that right.
5. Always be compassionate and kind, even if you do not like the haircut, the blouse, the new idea. Be supportive.
6. Jealousy for other people in the friend’s life will lead to disaster.

Remember marriages have ended for less. We are all trapped in this vortex called time where change is constant. Value your friend. Your sister. Do not assume this relationship will endure the test of time simply because it exists. If you do not think life is short, look around. I mean really look, throw the rose-colored glasses in the trash.