What about me?

I seldom write about anything personal, perhaps because I am a private person, and more importantly I would rather write about the many issues in the world that occupy my thoughts. Ranting and complaining are two entirely different things. I look around and despite how I would strive to accomplish more, I really do see with my inner eye that I have more than many. I am clear on this fact. So I try and stay positive.

This brings me to me. I feel totally off balance. I am a Libra and as you know we are a complex sign. The Libra possesses a special place in the zodiac.  It is the only sign that is an inanimate object. It represents the fall when the all of the years work is coming to fruition and people are allowed to actually enjoy themselves.  Libra is also considered the most civilized of all the zodiac symbols.  As the only inanimate object, it represents human accomplishment, not animal instinct. Perhaps it is that very openness to human suffering that causes me to suffer. I often think of myself an empath ofsorts, always feeling and hearing what people around me need. EVERYTHING bothers me these days.

The state of the world, the state of man, the Government, world politics, the very scale on which the lies and deceit in the world are perpetrated drive me to distraction, the abuse against women, against children, against animals and against our planet. I often feel quite in a state of loss about it all. I feel shame at my suffering regarding these things because being the balanced, diplomatic and even tempered person I am thought to be, I try to hide the self pitying and darkness. And there is plenty of it. Darkness that is. Not is all as it seems.

Small health issues that have escalated have not helped. Worrying about money. Sick pets. Trying to do a million things when I feel like crawling into a hole and not coming on. Being perky and funny. Talking when my tongue feels like it is caught in a bear trap. Hating aging, loving aging. Always alone, which is turning into years being alone. Happy being alone. Missing sex. Feeling more alive and attractive than ever while feeling totally unappealing to the opposite sex. Wanting to write and having nothing to say.

You get where I am going here, the scales are tipped. I am a raving lunatic, but only in my head. Throw into the mix a sense of insecurity about where I am heading, mixed with a small dose of I do not give a shit, after all the Mayan Calendar says 2012 is the year it ends or begins, so why not just run and play until then? Fuck men and their rules, their laws, their taxes, their never-ending deceitful ways. It is not hard to see why I am alone, when I step back from me and look.

So, what about me? This will pass as all things do. Ideas will replace apathy. Music will flow into my veins and make me want to dance. Someone will like my jewelry, my writing, my company. And for a moment I can stop dwelling on what a mediocre, shallow race of people surround me, drowning me in waves of phony energy, sucking out my life force. Maybe I will just become a super hero, and fly away.

Born: September 24 to October 23
Planet: Venus
Symbol: Scales
Positive Traits:
Diplomatic and urbane
Romantic and charming
Easygoing and sociable
Idealistic and peaceable
Negative Traits:
Indecisive and changeable
Gullible and easily influenced
Flirtatious and self-indulgent

They have good critical faculty and are able to stand back and look impartially at matters which call for an impartial judgment to be made on them. But they do not tolerate argument from anyone who challenges their opinions, for once they have reached a conclusion, its truth seems to them self-evident; and among their faults is an impatience of criticism and a greed for approval. But their characters are on the whole balanced, diplomatic and even tempered.

Others also know Librans for their sensitivity.  They have an amazing ability to feel what others are feeling and then relate to them on a personal level.  It is often said that people always feel better about themselves after spending time with a Libra. They loathe cruelty, viciousness and vulgarity and detest conflict between people, so they do their best to cooperate and compromise with everyone around them, and their ideal for their own circle and for society as a whole is unity.

While Libras are almost always artistic their balanced personality does not lend itself to exploration of the avant-garde.  Libras tend to gravitate towards the more beautiful aspects of life; this includes art and the people they know.

The negative Libran character may show frivolity, flirtatiousness and shallowness. It can be changeable and indecisive, impatient of routine, colorlessly conventional and timid, easygoing to the point of inertia, seldom angry when circumstances demand a show of annoyance at least; and yet Librans can shock everyone around them with sudden storms of rage. Their love of pleasure may lead them into extravagance; Libran men can degenerate into reckless gamblers, and Libran women extravagant, jealous and careless about money sometimes squander their wealth and talents in their over enthusiasm for causes which they espouse. Both sexes can become great gossipers. A characteristic of the type is an insatiable curiosity that tempts them to enquire into every social scandal in their circle.

Also, because of this ’harvest’ mentality they tend to be a little lazy and they dislike really hard work.  This can get them in trouble, but usually people like them so much that they get a free pass.

LIKES
The finer things in life
Sharing
Conviviality
Gentleness

DISLIKES
Violence
Injustice
Brutishness
Being a slave to fashion