I have let me down. I have promised myself over and over again, that I would stop caring, stop worrying about others and worry about me. But I can't seem to do that, it’s not in me to do so.

I have been given a strength a resilience, that no other that I know has withstood. You would think that after she fraudulated my name and took the money and left me with a $20,000 bill I would have slit her throat, but no, I stayed and took the blame. When he used my body with no shame, and I continued to stay and love him still, cooking and cleaning for him, taking his shit. And that girl, who was supposed to be my best friend set me up to take the fall, no one was there to hold me, tell me it’d be alright. And that rapist, who took what he thought he deserved, with the time he had spent, that was all I was worth, you must have thought, that would have made me take my life, but no here I am writing this non-poem in an effort to make things right.

I’m still here and now I have locked myself up in this room, to keep me safe from harm. Determined to let it all out, determined to no longer hold back the heartache and pain I’ve experienced, and figure out how I can save a young girls life. One who doesn’t have the strength I’ve been given, the ability to let herself be forgiven for crimes never committed, unless love, loyalty and trust, have been added to the long list. I’m in debt, but I can’t let that stop me. I’m in debt, how the in the hell am I going to repay it, I don’t know. I’m in debt and I feel so alone, though the help I have been offered, I have refused in the name of pride. Too scared and ashamed to open my heart again. Who am I! I am a Black Girl Lost, searching to find my place, but in the mean time in between time, I will continue to share my gift. So that you can learn from my mistakes, and so you won’t have to live with my fate. Every woman has her purpose, mine is to protect young girls from hurt and shame, by accepting all their pain with a smile on my face.The Split AKA D-Dee.

The SPLIT
Originally from Winnipeg, Manitoba and currently residing in Toronto. The Split uses her unique sense of diverse personalities to represent and express the versatility of the black woman in the struggle to redefine sexual roles through the explicit speech of her four characters. D-Licious (Erotic goddess); D’Troit (Ghetto-Girl); D Rae (Sistah Struggle) and D-Dee (That Black Girl Lost). She’s libel to Split your wig with her thought provoking verse. So pay close attention and never stop listening for the lesson to be learned.
For more info check out www.thesplit.ca and for an in-depth article on the Split go to http://www.lechinosoul.com/spokenwordsex.html (Spoken Word, Women & Sexuality)