::Shebytches::

Apparently that’s what I am. Because I can’t let anyone get too close to me for fear of being hurt, I am cold-hearted. It’s not protecting myself; they can’t see that given my previous relationship history. It really is that black and white apparently.

I am upset that my actions have earned me that name. I have always tried to communicate to others what I am feeling and how I am feeling. Sometimes people don’t want to hear it. I know I don’t always want to hear about someone else’s feelings, especially if I’m the one who has hurt them. To call me such a name though, that just makes me feel like there’s no point in trying to have a normal relationship with anybody.

I don’t understand a lot of the time why people get upset. I haven’t had much experience with good people, so when I find one I tend to push them away. I do that because I don’t believe they are what they say they are. I’m not being a bitch, I’m being cautious. I refuse to put myself in emotional danger when all I have to do is just wait. Sooner or later the person’s true colors shine out, and then I can make my decision. Of course, all this translates to me pushing people away, not talking, and so forth. I try to explain what I’m doing and it’s like no one wants to hear it. They all want the happy funny Sarrah and when the other Sarrah comes out they freak. Everybody has two sides, and for the most part I think I do a good job at communicating my needs and listening to others’ needs. I do drop the ball from time to time and I am sorry for that. My point through all this is that I am trying. That’s all.

When I push people away it’s because they are getting too close too fast. I need time to process each step of the relationship as it deepens. I have to have time to develop trust, which is a huge issue for me. You may not know this, but I came home to find my ex husband in bed with another woman. That scarred me more than any of you will ever know. I find it extremely difficult to trust anyone, so when I push you away it’s me trying to cope with my emotions. Which means that I’m only pushing you away momentarily, until I remember that you aren’t the one who hurt me. Once I recall that, then we can talk. I need that breather from time to time, just like I need my space. If I start feeling like I can’t breathe, I’m outta there. I just need people to be a bit more patient with me. That’s why I know I haven’t found "The One". People just don’t have time to deal with someone like me who comes with her own set of attractive baggage. I want to remind all of you that everyone has baggage in some form or another. I just lay all of mine open so that you can see it. And then walk away.

You might be a little confused as to why I am writing this. I am at the end of my rope. With people, with men, with everything. I feel as though there billions and billions of people out there and not one of you have understood me. I am alone, and I think that’s how it should be. Since I can’t seem to function in a normal relationship there has to be something wrong within me and until I can figure that out I think it’s best if I just stay alone. That way I won’t hurt anybody else with my lack of emotion. Or whatever you’re calling it this week.

Do I sound defeated? Wallowing in self-pity? Then you don’t know me. I am stating the facts as I see them. It makes sense that since I keep hurting people who want to be close to me the best thing to do is to back off. Even though that will hurt too, I think in the long run it will turn out better. I am much too damaged to date, now or ever.

Our Women's resource pages has links and phone numbers for help.

Please email us your comments about the above article and we will post them on this page! You can also email us at bestbytch@shebytches.com.

What you said!!!

What you wrote about Girls Night Out
I love to wear a shirt and tie. My husband also likes me wearing a tie. When we go out together if I am wearing a shirt and tie some people are shocked but most say I look elegent and stylish. I think that about half the men like a woman in a shirt and tie.
I like white shirts best and silk ties with a striped pattern.
I say keep wearing the tie
twoties (one for me and one for my husband)

What you wrote about Breasts and Loneliness

Don't feel bad about how you feel. Everyone wants to feel special and wanted by someone else. We don't want to feel like a piece of meat to be ogled at. That's just stupid. It's nice to have someone special in your life but if you look for it, you will never find it. Be good to yourself.
~Kim Wytch

What you wrote about Moving Faeries

You really have alot of issues with those damn faeries. I hear if you feed them alot of sugar. They explode!!! Good Luck! I hope they go away soon!

~Kerrie~

What you wrote about Sarrah's article on the Tattoo Guy!

Sarrah please come back. We miss you!!!

You shouldn't pick on Peter, the poor guy obviously has issues! Big ones! Actually he totally deserves to be picked on!

It is obvious to me that Peter isn't getting any. This is why he is looking at a website geared for Women.

~Kathy

I think Peter is a serial killer. That is my story and I am sticking to it.

Sarrah you crack me up. I love your poem. Can I use it?

A little poem, written by our very talented Sarrah, just for Peter.

My Name is Peter

I wish I could find the porn,

I really like it alot.

I found this website

But, I don't understand it.

Where's the porn?

Dumb ass comment of the month.

Oh great, another fucking lesbian site. Isn't there already enough out there!!!

~Peter

This isn't a comment regarding the Tattoo guy, but it was too good not to post. Please note this came from a male, our guess is he was looking for a porn site. I couldn't respond to him, because he gave us a fake email address. I wonder if these people actually think before they send stuff. Carolina

You guys rock!!! I check in every couple of days to see what is new. When are you gals going to start doing this every day???

Stan: I seen you getting your tattoo. You were such a cunt to the guy! How can you treat people like that? You must be so lonely, because you are such a bitch.

Belinda: You are a very angry person. I can sense so much pain in your aura.

Ben: I am so tired of you women always complaining about men. Give us a break.

Carolina (the one from Shebytches): For Ben and all of the others like him. We wouldn't complain about men (the lesser species in my opinion), if YOU didn't give use stuff to complain about. If you were perfect (never going to happen), you'd never hear a complaint. Also, the comments about Sarrah being a bitch (I get called a bitch alot too). To us the word Bitch means power. We are called Bitches ALOT, so, this must mean we are verrrrryyyyy powerful women! I guess that means we WIN!!!