Security
You know sometimes I wake up and wonder what the daily survival battle is all for? Does it even make sense to try and fight through another day? Is there no such thing as an easy life anymore? Don’t good things come to those who wait? Or this Karma bullshit, trust me I’ve been giving out good vibes! So what’s going on? Why isn’t everything perfect in my life? I thought by now at 26 I’d be on tour with my band man making tons of money. Beautiful, rich and famous! Yeah okay then some how along the line reality set in and I am stuck living in a bachelor pad the size of most of my friends bathrooms, I like my job but it wasn’t even close to what I thought I’d be doing for a living or giving me the coin I thought I’d be making. Life just isn’t what it was supposed to be – don’t the gods love me? Don’t I deserve more? Please god I am really trying here can’t you tell. Alright so I gave up the music dream, or maybe I just realized I liked my lifestyle too much. Liked having dinner and wine with friends, Like having a car and a place to live, I like food and don’t want to starve myself just to look like a size 5 all the time. These are things that just weren’t going to happen. So instead I have decided to use my voice to make some money in a new way – welcome to voice over city baby. I am hoping to get into the acting union through a new gig I got. Then get myself an agent. Do auditions, get the gigs and get paid??? Do you think this could work? Who knows but I am going to die trying. I am worth more than this shit lately and I am starting to lose the last bit of sanity I have…being a self employed person is not healthy I must be crazy or completely insane. I know a ton of people who are making a fine living as self employed person. I’m just not making it right now. So I think I’ll bartend in the meantime and make a little extra coin to pay down my mounting credit card bills. I just wish someone could come and make it all okay, pay all my bills, take me in, feed me, and give me clothing. What’s wrong with wanting these simple things? I think at one time or another we all feel this way? We all want to be rescued at some point. Even if we don’t truly want to be rescued we urn for security. Now I could be talking completely out of my ass but hey what do I care I have no shame…not only do I have no shame today I have a huge hangover and nothing makes sense.

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