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Security You
know sometimes I wake up and wonder what the daily survival
battle is all for? Does it even make sense to try and fight
through another day? Is there no such thing as an easy life
anymore? Dont good things come to those who wait? Or
this Karma bullshit, trust me Ive been giving out good
vibes! So whats going on? Why isnt everything
perfect in my life? I thought by now at 26 Id be on
tour with my band man making tons of money. Beautiful, rich
and famous! Yeah okay then some how along the line reality
set in and I am stuck living in a bachelor pad the size of
most of my friends bathrooms, I like my job but it wasnt
even close to what I thought Id be doing for a living
or giving me the coin I thought Id be making. Life just
isnt what it was supposed to be dont the
gods love me? Dont I deserve more? Please god I am really
trying here cant you tell. Alright so I gave up the
music dream, or maybe I just realized I liked my lifestyle
too much. Liked having dinner and wine with friends, Like
having a car and a place to live, I like food and dont
want to starve myself just to look like a size 5 all the time.
These are things that just werent going to happen. So
instead I have decided to use my voice to make some money
in a new way welcome to voice over city baby. I am
hoping to get into the acting union through a new gig I got.
Then get myself an agent. Do auditions, get the gigs and get
paid??? Do you think this could work? Who knows but I am going
to die trying. I am worth more than this shit lately and I
am starting to lose the last bit of sanity I have
being
a self employed person is not healthy I must be crazy or completely
insane. I know a ton of people who are making a fine living
as self employed person. Im just not making it right
now. So I think Ill bartend in the meantime and make
a little extra coin to pay down my mounting credit card bills.
I just wish someone could come and make it all okay, pay all
my bills, take me in, feed me, and give me clothing. Whats
wrong with wanting these simple things? I think at one time
or another we all feel this way? We all want to be rescued
at some point. Even if we dont truly want to be rescued
we urn for security. Now I could be talking completely out
of my ass but hey what do I care I have no shame
not
only do I have no shame today I have a huge hangover and nothing
makes sense.
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