Over the past couple of weeks I have had some ongoing thoughts in my head. Likely part of having a new love interest and my mind always remembers that old trust issue ( which I am still working on…I’ll give it all in the beginning and the moment I get that feeling it’s gone). You all know the feeling I am talking about the one that sits in the middle of your stomach and works its way up to your throat like you could totally puke at any given moment. The one moment when everything that has been going on makes perfect sense…oh yeah (like this huge realization) that dirty bastard did stay at work a little later then I cared to noticed, crap I don’t have blonde hair - out with the boys, right! You know that feeling of complete conclusion…now his balls are in your court can you forgive and forget or its get your sulking fuckin’ self out of my door now before I pull a Lorena Bobbit on your ass (always my number one choice). Once you have been hurt you will never love the same way – never fully if you can; I commend you and would love to know how you can, do it? Maybe it comes with age and maturity, when your lifestyle and kids become more important than your life (that is an amazing sacrifice that some women can do) let’s just leave it at that.

Talking with a couple of my male friends about cheating and what motivates men to cheat. They boys tell me from a guy’s perspective and I am listening and responding from a female perspective (when getting myself into these heated conversations I tend to keep in mind; these are my friends and I should try hard not to loose what they are saying as it might make sense someday).

They tell me the main reason a man will cheat on his girlfriend or wife is because he feels that she has become comfortable in the relationship (big fucking surprise being in love is almost like getting a permanent freshman 10-20). Maybe she feels that he won’t ever leave her so she gains a couple extra pounds (hence freshman 10-20), decides makeup is a total waste of time, and of course track suits are ones weekend attire – so what’s the big deal? Well the big deal is a man needs to feel desired he wants to be wanted, deep down we are all looking for appreciation and to feel wanted. But not only does he want to feel wanted he wants to be desired, wants his woman to look sexy, and perform some interesting functions in the bedroom (swinging from the chandelier in a leather teddy). Most girls I know would rather be told what he was lacking instead of hearing about the affair he just had and how he is now leaving you for some 22 year old blonde bombshell. I think it takes a big man to tell his girl that she is lacking some things and that he would like to see. This is your opportunity to state the things you would like to see and the things you don’t like; try to spice things up! Bring back some passion. As long as what he was asking for was reasonable I would totally do it and I would make damn sure I was also getting what I wanted…shit we all get bored that’s part of human nature! Divorce is way too easy and relationships need work and nothing is ever like your dreams that’s why they are dreams (some attainable and some not) we learn to adjust and work that shit out.

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