Anyone who knows me knows that I have certain issues. These issues run from not being
able to deal with stupid people to being afraid of emotional closeness. The most frustrating thing in the world is knowing about these issues and being powerless to do anything about them.

People who have had the dubious pleasure of dating me all say the same thing at the end
of it: ‘Sarrah, you’re really cool. I just wish you’d deal with some stuff and be happier.’
And I agree with them. I also wish to be happy. It seems as though when true happiness
is within my grasp, something happens to make me question the source. And then it all
goes to shit right after.

So, for New Year’s I decided to make a resolution. I resolve to be happy no matter what.
If
that means laughing out loud at the kid who gets knocked down by a car, then so be it.
Poor little fucker.

A Faery Tale
Once upon a time, it was possible to be friends with a man without continuously sleeping with him. Today, that is not the norm and I am wondering why? In this age of enlightenment and supposed self-assuredness why can’t you go out with a member of the opposite sex without them automatically thinking you’re a couple?

I have lots of male friends that I would never dream of sleeping with simply because they are like brothers to me. When my friends and I get together, it’s hard to tell who is a couple and who is not. Not because we all do that orgy thing, but because we all love each other and it shows. We respect one another and have a great time hanging out. I just wish that everyone could have that because nothing is better than having a fantastic group of people around you
to love you and support you.

But I’m skirting the real issue here, which is that you can only be friends with certain personality types of the opposite sex. And it sucks when you make a mistake, like I have on occasion. Then you get this weird feeling whenever that person is around, like you should say something to make them feel better about not having the opportunity to sleep with you. You downplay
your own sexuality simply because you do not want that person to look at you in that light,
even though you already know they do. It’s a very confusing situation to be in, and not one to be easily dealt with. Especially if you’re retarded and you’ve slept with them. Which I would not recommend doing under any circumstances. Those people don’t understand what a one night stand means and they will call you.

Not that I would know.