A Big Loan from the Girl Zone

This is a shout out to all the ladies.

I remember, waywayback in the dark days before I knew about Shebytches, I worried that I wasn’t getting my regular dose of Vitamin Grrl (except in book and event form from the Women’s Bookstore) – total abject failure on my part to hook up with the awesome communities and individuals swarming through the GTA. I waxed nostalgic about my roving pixie posse back on the mothership, and bounced from Lavalife chica to lost duckling friendship with profs without ever feeling connected to the flow of girl power through TO’s circuits.

Duh on me.

After 2 weeks back in the T-Dot, I am amazed and overwhelmed by the many amazing women who found and nurtured me. As in, not just in the last fortnight, but during the 6 years that I proudly ticked “resident” on the Customs Canada form (and less proudly paid taxes on money that the government gave me to give to U of T… OK, I’m over it). It’s not like I didn’t know while I was here, but it astonished me just how much it had become part of my life – an expectation that I would be surrounded by extraordinary, passionate, politicised, creative women, girls, grrrlz, bois, chicas, ladies, aunties, pixies, queens and mothers.

London is very much “boys on the left side / boys on the right side.”

So salut to Toronto and its plethora of fabulous dames who fed me, housed me, talked to me, cared for me, laughed with me (and occasionally at me), bitched with me, listened to me, made time for me, asked what I thought and simply sat and enjoyed the sun. And special saluts to the new friends I made – more in two weeks in Toronto than in eight months in London.

Thanks to Lisa who bought me breakfast (mmm, first run maple syrup!) even though she’s just met me five minutes before. Thanks to the TWB sistahs for the warm, book-filled embrace. Thanks to Sharon for braving brunch with a bunch of complete strangers (you can admire her fearless work at http://iloveyougalleries.com/). Thanks to Natalie and Michelle for sunset over mango salad – and getting me hooked on FaceBook. Thanks to another Michelle for a tenth anniversary to remember. Thanks to Corinn for the space to get better and the impetus to write more. Thanks to Alice, Kristi and Ginny for listening to a stranger’s ideas and being so enthused (and thanks to Ginny for introducing me to tapwater tea!). Thanks to Fina for making me look like Patti Smith (I wish!). Thanks to Fern for fitting me in, and to Cynthia for being so cool when I showed up on the wrong day. Thanks to Carolina for the totally unexpected winter wear and totally expected vegan pizza/bytching sesh _ Thanks to Cathy for the flourless sugar rush!

And thanks to Wolfgang, Mike, Daniel, Kent, Frederick and Marley, who totally count!

How to thank friends – the kind who give you a bed or a ride or a meal or an ear or a hand?

The kind who remember your birthday, who say “We want you back” without making you feel guilty for leaving. The kind who can tease you without meanness, or make you spill your guts without judging, or move from work to gossip seamlessly. The ones who hug you and you feel like you’re inside their body, right inside their heart being squeezed by their ventricles (OK, gross if you take that literally). The ones who understand when you need to be alone, and who answer the phone when you need to talk. The friends ask for your help and make you want to give double.

That’s it, I guess. Giving back. Yall need an interest-free loan from this girl zone? Hit me up.