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Open Eyes
"Aloneness and selfness are too important to betray for company."
Sylvia Plath

I used to believe that. I used to think there was no one on the face of the planet that would ever understand me. Whenever I was in a relationship I would hold back a piece of myself to hold onto for when the breakup happened. I would have that part of me, that essence of Sarrah that I saved so that I would not lose myself. In doing that, I couldn’t fully give myself to the other person because I was too afraid of being hurt. I was well protected, but I also didn’t feel the depth of emotion that I wanted. It was a total catch-22 situation. I wanted so much to be loved and to love, but I couldn’t let down my guard to allow myself to be loved.

I have met someone that has shown me what love could be like. In order for me to be loved I have to open myself to the very real possibility of being hurt. I have to take a chance and in letting down my guard I have found something very strange. People aren’t out to get me. They don’t automatically pounce on me because I am not defenseless; I am open. There is a huge difference there. Just because I have decided to drop the final barrier and allow myself to love completely does not mean I am 14 and stupid. I have learned a lot about human behavior in my life and I cannot unlearn those lessons simply because I am in love.

Can you believe what I just wrote?

When I finally see him again this whole thing might just be in my head. Maybe I have built it up to be something it isn’t and when I get there I will be horribly crushed. That isn’t the point. The point is that finally I get it. I understand what people are talking about when they tell me I’m too guarded. I can tell you a million reasons why I keep my guard up but it doesn’t matter. None of that does. What matters is that I have found someone that I can fall for and I am okay with getting hurt because of it.

Maybe none of this makes any sense to you. To be honest, I’m not so sure I get it myself. I just know that I feel safe in dropping my guard and flying off to meet someone I’ve only had one date with because I can. If I get there and discover that everything I’ve been feeling is one-sided, then I will come home to lick my wounds. And then try again. Now that I understand I feel as though nothing would be lost be calling someone up and telling them exactly how I feel without already knowing what they will say.

It’s interesting to watch myself figure things like this out. I have been pacing around my apartment trying to understand what I’m feeling. No, not what I’m feeling; what’s missing. And I discovered that what I’m missing is the anxiety of keeping an arm’s length away. I don’t even think I made a conscious decision to finally drop the last of my defenses. I think it just happened because I am ready for it. It’s a little frightening but at the same time I can relax now. I know that even if this doesn’t work out, I will be able to deal with the pain and move on. Not that I’d want to, but I could.

And that makes me smile.

Our Women's resource pages has links and phone numbers for help.

Please email us your comments about the above article and we will post them on this page!   You can also email us at bestbytch@shebytches.com.
What you said!!!

Who is October

Click here to find out.

What you wrote about Bad Religion
I DON'T try to convert people, but if you discover something wonderful, a new restaurant, a new guy, a new drink, a new place to walk and enjoy nature, a new salon that cuts your hair just the way you want them to, you do want to share this with others. If they already have a wonderful hair stylist, for instance, then that's it, you tried to share and they are already happy doing what they want. THAT IS THEIR CHOICE, and that is what this world is about, choice.
I KNOW THAT GOD IS REAL, and for me, I intend to live my life as close to Him as I can. That is my choice, and my belief. Yes I would like to share that with others, but NOT if they don't want to hear. It's that simple. My Bible says we are each responsible for our own salvation, and I cannot answer for anyone else, nor will I be asked to.
My daughter states she is a pagan, and that's her choice. I don't love her any less for that, nor will it change the way I feel about her, nor the way I treat her, because I LOVE HER. Not her choices. that's all for now.....Right on!

~Sarrah's Mom


I am a Christian when I am scared, and a Bhuddist most other times. Actually Bhuddism is very attractive as a religion. I don't know too many Bhuddists who judge, criticize, kill, or posture unnecessarily for their religion. The rest are pompous hypocrites.

FISHBONK!

 

What you wrote about Girls Night Out
I love to wear a shirt and tie. My husband also likes me wearing a tie. When we go out together if I am wearing a shirt and tie some people are shocked but most say I look elegent and stylish. I think that about half the men like a woman in a shirt and tie.
I like white shirts best and silk ties with a striped pattern.
I say keep wearing the tie
twoties (one for me and one for my husband)

What you wrote about Breasts and Loneliness

Don't feel bad about how you feel. Everyone wants to feel special and wanted by someone else. We don't want to feel like a piece of meat to be ogled at. That's just stupid. It's nice to have someone special in your life but if you look for it, you will never find it. Be good to yourself.
~Kim Wytch

 

What you wrote about Moving Faeries

 

You really have alot of issues with those damn faeries.  I hear if you feed them alot of sugar.  They explode!!!  Good Luck!  I hope they go away soon!

~Kerrie~

 

What you wrote about Sarrah's article on the Tattoo Guy!

Sarrah please come back.  We miss you!!!

 

 

You shouldn't pick on Peter, the poor guy obviously has issues!  Big ones!  Actually he totally deserves to be picked on!

 

It is obvious to me that Peter isn't getting any.  This is why he is looking at a website geared for Women.

~Kathy

 

I think Peter is a serial killer.  That is my story and I am sticking to it.

 

 

Sarrah you crack me up.  I love your poem.  Can I use it?

 

 

A little poem, written by our  very talented Sarrah, just for Peter.

 

My Name is Peter

I wish I could find the porn,

I really like it alot.

I found this website

But, I don't understand it.

Where's the porn?

 

 

Dumb ass comment of the month. 

 

Oh great, another fucking lesbian site.  Isn't there already enough out there!!!

~Peter

 

This isn't a comment regarding the Tattoo guy, but it was too good not to post.  Please note this came from a male, our guess is he was looking for a porn site. I couldn't respond to him, because he gave us a fake email address.  I wonder if these people actually think before they send stuff. Carolina




You guys rock!!! I check in every couple of days to see what is new.  When are you gals going to start doing this every day???

 

 

Stan: I seen you getting your tattoo. You were such a cunt to the guy! How can you treat people like that? You must be so lonely, because you are such a bitch.

 

 

Belinda: You are a very angry person. I can sense so much pain in your aura.

 

 

Ben: I am so tired of you women always complaining about men. Give us a break.

 

 

Carolina (the one from Shebytches):  For Ben and all of the others like him.  We wouldn't complain about men (the lesser species in my opinion), if YOU didn't give use stuff to complain about.  If you were perfect (never going to happen), you'd never hear a complaint.  Also, the comments about Sarrah being a bitch (I get called a bitch alot too).  To us the word Bitch means power.   We are called Bitches ALOT,  so, this must mean we are verrrrryyyyy powerful women!  I guess that means we WIN!!!