::Shebytches::

So, apart from trying to build a career in writing, I work in a call centre, answering people's questions about their student loans. So the other day at work I had a call from a guy that at first I thought was very embarrassing.

I was answering a customer’s questions about his student loans, pretty standard stuff, and then he says, "you know, you have the perfect voice for phone sex" at first I was like, "okay..." and tried to steer him back to his loan. "You would appeal to those guys who are into the whole school girl thing," he says. What to do? I told him that I will only speak to him about his student loan, or I would disconnect the call " it’s a complement!' he said. I disconnected the call. My face turned beet red. I could not believe what had just happened, and I was disappointed about how I had handled it. I usually consider myself a strong woman, someone who would stick up for herself and can take care of herself. When he first brought it up, I should have either hung up right away or told him off. I should have. But all I did was say ‘okay’. I mean, what is that? What was I thinking? He totally caught me off guard. I could have ended the conversation right away, and wouldn’t have had to hear anymore of it, but all I could come up with was ‘okay’. The girls around me looked at me and asked if something was wrong. I was too embarrassed to say anything at first. I felt like it was my fault. Do I talk like that when I’m on the phone? My coworkers have said I flirt with the customers. Did I bring this on myself?

But then I got angry. Why the hell am I embarrassed? And why did I let this guy make me doubt myself? I can’t believe I let some asshole do this to me.

So I told the girls around me what had happened. And then they told me; it happens every once in a while. So this is what we might face when we go to work. We have the chance of talking to someone who can make us feel like we are nothing, like it is our fault that we are women.

So what are we supposed to do? Women face this shit everyday. I wish I knew. I’ve spent my life thinking about this. I spent three years at UfT taking women’s studies classes trying to find out what other people thought. And I still feel lost. All I know is until I can figure out something better, and if this happens again, I’m gonna say Fuck off, and hang up.

Bio: Neelam Arora first appeared in the anthology What’s Wrong? Published by Arsenal Pulp Press, and also has a story in the 2003 SPX anthology. Her first full length work is a graphic novel she is working on with Arthur Dela Cruz called My Destroyer published by Oni Press, which will be out this summer. She likes to draw, write and take pictures, and puts this stuff up on her website, www.awalkinthepark.com.