Human's
are creatures of repetition. We do the same thing over and
over again, not learning from our mistakes. I am a prime
example of this. Not only do I continue to do the same things
over and over, but I know well in advance that I am going
to repeat past mistakes. Even with this knowledge I can't
seem to stop the vicious cycle. Tuesday was the perfect
example of this. You see, I ended up in my doctors office
that morning, for about the millionth time, with a bronchial
infection. I knew a week and a half before, that very moment
I started feeling that burning itch on the right side of
my throat, that it would happen. I knew I would continue
to work long hours every day and not take a break. I knew
I would be stubborn and not take proper care and not giving
my body the rest it would need to get rid of a cold. I knew
that 10 days ago, I would end up exactly where I did Tuesday.
In my doctors office getting a lecture that I shouldn't
wait so long to get checked, that I don't take care of myself,
that I need to rest when I am sick. I even was questioned
why I was dressed to go to work.
I'm
sure my doctor would love to just tape record her lecture
and turn it on as soon as I walk into the patients waiting
room. It would save her the time and aggravation of having
to repeat herself over and over again. I'm sure she did
get satisfaction from knowing that I had to get past Brunhilda
first. The surgical mask I had to wear was sure give away!
Every since S.A.R.S. you can't even enter my doctor's office
with out getting past the main receptionist. Yes, that would
be the woman I lovingly call Brunhilda. She asks you several
health questions... if satisfied you get to sit in the regular
waiting room. If by chance you have the sniffles, a cold
or any other symptom that could be related to the flu or
any other airborne containgent... you are handed a mask,
asked to sterilize your hands and sent off to the special
'you must have a serious, contagious disease room'. Fortunately
for me I only had to sit in there for a few minutes... the
sounds of the hacking and coughing were scaring me.
I
received my lecture. Was given a prescription and told to
go home. Did I? No. I went straight to work and suffered.
Not once did anyone ask if I was ok each time that I almost
coughed up a lung. Instead they quickly backed away ensuring
their mouths and noses were covered. Not once did any of
my manager's show any concern for my health and tell me
to go home. Instead they threw work at me, from the safety
of my cubicle door. Hey, as long as the work gets done....
who cares if the employees are sick. I worked my shift,
dragged myself home and into my bed.
There
is a benefit, or so I thought, to being sick, you get to
actually watch TV. I use to enjoy watching TV when I was
sick. I could get caught up on all the great stuff I was
missing. Not so anymore. Wednesday night, I was beginning
to feel crappy AGAIN... and lay down on the couch and turned
on the TV. Was excited that I would be able to see CSI NY
for the first time in several months... realizing as I watched
it... well... it sucked. I flipped channels for what seemed
to be an eternity and almost gave up. I ended up watching
a show on the history of muffins... yes, muffins. I have
to tell you, it was more interesting than anything else
on the TV was and that is sad. There use to be a time that
I reserved specific times to watch the shows I loved. If
Buffy or Angel where on you didn't dare call me, talk to
me and there would be an hour void where you didn't get
emails from me. I started watching CSI and liked it... in
the beginning, now the show is so predictable.
I
am almost to a point where I want to cancel my cable. What's
the point? Wait long enough and the TV shows end up on DVD
anyway. And in the long run it would be cheaper. If I made
a list of all the TV shows I really wanted to watch and
either bought, rented or borrowed the DVD's, it would actually
be 1/3 of the cost of my cable bill. I would love to just
put an end to it, but I would have a mutiny on my hands.
My partner and two step kids would freak if there weren't
TV. Then I would have to actually entertain them... so the
cable stays...
I
have also been losing weight since I got sick, I have no
appetite and can't really taste what I am eating anyway...
Maybe I will still lose those 25 pounds after all. This
way when I go back to my doctor next time, I will only get
in trouble for my bronchial infection and not the fact I
haven't lost any weight... it would be a change at least!
he