I'm No Longer Pleased
I'm tired. I've been trying to figure out why. I know it is partly due to the insomnia I've had since the beginning of September, but it's something else. Something is nagging at me. Yesterday I finally figured out what it was. I'm tired. Period.

Tired of what you ask? Tired of trying to please everyone, everywhere, all the time. It's wasted energy. I get nothing back, no 'Thank you,' no show of any kind of appreciation. All I get it 'not good enough', negativity and zero respect. So I'm not going to any longer.

I'm not going to try to please anyone other than myself.
I'm going to stop obsessing and pining over things I know I won't ever have.
I'm turning into the self-centered, selfish bytch that I seem to be in the eyes of others.

All my life I have worked so hard to please.

Parents
Teacher
Friends
Partners
Others

No more. All that it does is dig me deeper and deeper into a black hole. All it does is make me feel unappreciated, unattractive, and useless. I can't get the things I need to get done in order to move on with my life. And I need to get on with it. I've been given a gift and I need to fulfill a dream. And if it means secluding myself from the rest of the world to do it, I will. I am no longer going to please anyone and if you push, I will knock you down.

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