Can We Talk?

When did we stop talking to each other? Sure, as a society we communicate, but we don’t talk. I just realized today that a good 70% of the conversations I have with friends and loved ones are via text messaging, msn, email and facebook. No one picks up a phone anymore to have a real person to person chat. Yes, you’re still not in person, but you get to hear a real voice.

I had this epiphany of sorts while chatting with a friend on facebook. I realized I have never talked them on the phone. Ever. We hang out in person (which is phenomenal) or chat on facebook. Nothing else. Suddenly, something I have become so accustomed to, feels odd. This made me wonder how am I communicating with others? So I made a list of the who’s and how much I talk to them in person.

My Mom: Prior to her getting a computer and the internet, I would talk to her on the phone approximately every other week and see my parents about four times a year. I live in Toronto, they live in Wiarton, so distance and long distance charges are what made person to person communication the level it was at. Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for MSN. I now chat to my mom several times each day. I do however find myself panicking if I don’t see her online every day. Before MSN, if I didn’t hear from her for a week, it didn’t even cross my mind that there was a problem. Now when the phone rings and it’s her I panic, merely because I think something is wrong.

The last guy I dated: Rarely called me other than to say he was on his way or going to be late. Other than that, phone communication was nothing. We only ever communicated through texts and chat and even when we were in person, at times our conversations were strained. In this case I think messaging was a pro, as it was easier to talk to him. Why is that? I remember a time when, if a boy was smitten with me, he would call me, come see me and even write me little note. I love getting cute little hand written notes. It makes me feel like you have really taken the time to not only find a pen and paper but you are thinking it would be a nice thing to do. Unless it’s a post it and you are breaking up with me. When did dating communication move from talking to messaging???

Friends: I have my real friends. Then I have my facebook friends. I’ve had people actually come up to me at events, restaurants or on the street and say ‘Hi, I’m so and so, we are facebook friends.’ Isn’t that the same as being pen pals?

With my real friends, I have 3 very close ones who I communicate with all day everyday. Again at least 75% of the way we communicate is via messaging or email. I remember a time where I would have my Mother screaming at me to get off the phone after hours and hours chatting with my friends. Now I’m assuming that is never a problem for parents.

Siblings: Unless I see them on MSN or Facebook, I almost never talk to them. To some people that isn’t such a bad thing. I however would like to hear from them more.

Don’t get me wrong, messaging has its benefits, such as:

Save on cell phone minutes.
Save on long distance.
Getting in touch with long lost friends
Talking to people all over the world, when ever we want.
Being able to keep current with many people all at the same time.

Here is my issue with it. We have already lost the art of letter writing, so, when will we lose the art of verbal communication? Children and teens of today both write and speak chat lingo. I’ve actually overheard conversations with 13 year olds were they are saying things like LOL, LMAO. Wow! Of course my favorite is the two teenage girls sitting across from each other on the bus texting back and forth to each other. I wonder if they have ever heard each others voices?

There is also a very personal aspect to growing issues with it. By nature I am actually a shy and introverted person. Unless I am comfortable with you, I am the one who sits quietly at the table, while others talk; only interjecting when I have a strong point of view. I find that messaging makes it too easy for me and people like me to hide away from society and not learn how to become less shy. By hiding behind text messaging, MSN and facebook we aren’t letting ourselves strengthen our verbal skills. Plus damn it, once in a while you need to have flesh in blood in front of you, not on a keyboard at the other end of cyber space.

I want to start talking to people again. Pick up a bloody phone and call them or call me to have a real conversation. I want someone to write me a love letter or a silly note. Better yet, write me a letter and mail it. (you have put one of those stamp things on it and put it in one of the red boxes). I want to talk to real people again!!! Can we talk?