Girl
Guides
Last
night I bought a box of Girl Guide cookies. Three eight
year old girls in their cute little outfits came to my door
around supper time to sell their boxes of chocolate and
vanilla cookies. They were so polite that I couldn't turn
them away.
I
haven't bought Girl Guide Cookies in years. It was a strange
feeling holding the box. What's that big woop you ask! Ya,
maybe for most this isn't something out of the ordinary.
Girl Guides and their cookies are a regular fixture in today's
North America. It appears to be a great organization helping
to teach young girls values, manners and how to be good
citizens. For me, seeing Girl Guides brings back a few nasty
memories from childhood.
Most
girls growing up have been a Brownie or a Girl Guide at
one time or another. I was a Brownie. My Mother needed an
reason to get me out of my room and to socialize with other
kids and this was the perfect opportunity. I would have
to say for the most part I did have fun on my weekly outings.
We did crafts, played games, baked cookies. These activities
were fun as long as I stayed away from Mrs. Stiff Back.
Mrs.
Stiff Back was the Brownie disciplinarian. She made sure
you lined up in proper lines, your uniforms were pressed,
you faces clean and hair just right. Mrs. Stiff Back also
didn't tolerate talking. Children were to be seen and not
heard. She made this quite clear every Tuesday night. If
you did as you were told you would have fun. Mrs. Stiff
Back didn't like me very much.
I
could be quite the chatterbox given the right atmosphere.
Little girls scare easily so I would use my weekly outings
to try out my stories of horror and hauntings. Not only
was my chattering an utter annoyance to Mrs. Stiff Back,
so was the screaming hordes of girls. Mrs. Stiff Back didn't
like screaming girls. My Mother quickly began to dread picking
me up at 8 pm. I think she was hoping I would just walk
home.
At
the end of my last year of Brownies we were suppose to be
given information on how to become a Girl Guide. I was very
excited that these weekly outings would continue. I was
never given an information package, as the other girls were.
When I asked Mrs. Stiff Back she said she would talk to
my Mother later and left it at that.
My
Mother and Mrs. Stiff Back had that little chat. I wouldn't
be moving on to Girl Guides apparently. My lack of discipline
and sensibility meant I wasn't Girl Guide material. Mrs.
Stiff Back began berating my Mother for raising such an
odd and unruly child. My Mother normally quiet and reserved
told Mrs. Stiff Back she needed to lighten up and piss off
and that she didn't want her daughter associating with such
a stiff old bat any longer.
As
we turned to walk to our car, I stuck my tongue out at Mrs.
Stiff Back. On any other occassion this would have resulted
in my getting my ass smacked. That day my Mother overlooked
it. I think she may have wanted to do the same.
Mrs.
Stiff Back no longer teaches Brownies. She is too busy standing
on her front yard keeping children and dogs off her perfectly
manicured grass.
he