Recipe For My Perfect Man
A little bit of Gomez by Carolina Smart
serves: 1
preparation time: a couple hours..... minimal
cooking time: how long does a marathon take?
Ingredients:
6' 2" of Gerard Butler whole
1 cup Jimmy Stewart's integrity
1 cup Gomez Addams animal attraction
1/2 cup Gabriel Byrne's sensuality
1/4 cup Gil Grisoms logic
1/4 cup Quentin Tarantino's dark creativity
1/8 cup King Leonidas bravery (more than an 1/8th is too overpowering)
2 TBSP Carey Grant's sarcastic wit
2 TBSP Vin Deisel's sexy
1 TSP Mad Max's grit
Jason Stathom to taste
What to do:
Cut the Gerard Butler into strips approximately 2 inches wide and 6 inches long.
In a medium bowl, whisk together the Jimmy Stewart, Gomez Addams, Gabriel Byrne, Gil Grissom and Quentin Tarantino. Mix well ensure you smooth out all lumps. Once batter is of an even consistency, gradually add in King Leonidas, Carey Grant and Vin Deisel. If necessary add Jason Stathom to taste.
Place the Perfect Man in a shallow 9 X 13-inch glass baking dish. Sprinkle with Mad Max's grit. Let chill in the refrigerator for approximately 24 hours, covered. Remove from refridgerator and let come to room temperature. Once ready bake at 425 F for approximately 45 minutes. Let cool, serve with a nice Chianti.
Recipe For My Perfect Man Martini
by Viki Ackland
Ingredients:
PM Martini
6 Parts Johhny Depp
2 parts George Clooney
Clive Owen twist
Combine johnny Depp and George Clooney in a mixing glass with cracked ice and stir. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass and garnish withClive Owen.
And don't call me in the morning.
Recipe For My Perfect Man: James Bond loaf
by Adrianne Frost
serves: 007
cooking time: 1 hr, 38 min
Ingredients:
10 pounds of Sean Connery's chest, circa 1962, leave hair on
2 (each), Timothy Daltons arms and legs
2 handfuls Daniel Craig's ass
1 head of Pierce Brosnan (smoldering eyes recipe to follow)
1 cup David Niven's charm
1/2 cup Ms. Moneypenny's responsibility
1/2 cup George Lazenbey's commitment level
2 scoops Peter Sellers humor
2 TBSP Blofeld's love of animals
1 TBSP Q's ingenuity
1 tsp Roger Moore's voice
dash of Daniel Craig's lips
Recipe For My Perfect Man: James Bond loaf
serves: 007
cooking time: 1 hr, 38 min
Ingredients:
10 pounds of Sean Connery's chest, circa 1962, leave hair on
2 (each), Timothy Daltons arms and legs
2 handfuls Daniel Craig's ass
1 head of Pierce Brosnan (smoldering eyes recipe to follow)
1 cup David Niven's charm
1/2 cup Ms. Moneypenny's responsibility
1/2 cup George Lazenbey's commitment level
2 scoops Peter Sellers humor
2 TBSP Blofeld's love of animals
1 TBSP Q's ingenuity
1 tsp Roger Moore's voice
dash of Daniel Craig's lips
What to do:
Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees.
On a gianormous cookie sheet, cut up Sean Connery, dispose of everything but the chest (keep his Oscar if you like for garnish).
Add Dalton's legs.
Attach Daniel Craig's ass (ass will rise in the oven) and Brosnan's head (check frequently to make sure it doesn't swell).
In a medium bowl, empty David Niven's charm and slowly add Moneypenny until a thick paste is formed. In a small bowl, mix together Lazenby's commitment, the humor and Blofeld's love of animals (make sure not to add Blofeld's sense of evil!).
Mix charm/responsibility paste with small bowl contents on a medium setting.
Using a sexy, sexy pastry brush, gently cover the chest, legs, ass and head with the mixture, making sure to leave room for lips. Sprinkle with Q's ingenuity, insert Roger Moore's voice and softly press lips onto face.
Place your James Bond loaf into the oven, bake for 69 minutes or until chest is ripped and hard.
Keep piping hot and serve with a martini (shaken, not stirred).
What to do:
Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees.
On a gianormous cookie sheet, cut up Sean Connery, dispose of everything but the chest (keep his Oscar if you like for garnish).
Add Dalton's legs.
Attach Daniel Craig's ass (ass will rise in the oven) and Brosnan's head (check frequently to make sure it doesn't swell).
In a medium bowl, empty David Niven's charm and slowly add Moneypenny until a thick paste is formed. In a small bowl, mix together Lazenby's commitment, the humor and Blofeld's love of animals (make sure not to add Blofeld's sense of evil!).
Mix charm/responsibility paste with small bowl contents on a medium setting.
Using a sexy, sexy pastry brush, gently cover the chest, legs, ass and head with the mixture, making sure to leave room for lips. Sprinkle with Q's ingenuity, insert Roger Moore's voice and softly press lips onto face.
Place your James Bond loaf into the oven, bake for 69 minutes or until chest is ripped and hard.
Keep piping hot and serve with a martini (shaken, not stirred).
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