Dear Moron,

Why do you insist on talking to my breasts? They can’t talk back. Are you hoping they will? You don’t even try to hide the fact that you talk to them. If you had to tell me what colour my eyes are, would you be able to? I doubt it seeing as you have never looked me in the face.

I don’t talk to you penis. Of course it’s not very noticeable anyway. I am sure you have a small dick, because as far as I am concerned anyone who talks to my breasts must be lacking.

Each time you do this, I make it known that I don’t appreciate the perversion. As a matter of fact, many subtle hints go unanswered because you are too busy ‘TALKING TO MY BREASTS’. I’ve come to the conclusion that if I want to get a message across to you I will have to right it on my breasts!

Yours truly,
Queen Bytch

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Dear Moronic Business Owner,

Thank you for never responding to any of my emails. I have emailed you a few times inquiring about your products. Since you can’t take the time to respond to me, FUCK OFF. I’ve found someone who will. FYI, take a seminar on customer service.

Yours truly,
Queen Bytch

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Dear Moron,

I seem to be having email issues, because you only answered one of my emails and then have ignored me ever since. Was I too aggressive in my requests, or do you just not understand email etiquette???

Here is a little tidbit for you. When someone asks you a question, answer them. Don’t be afraid to insult them. Be open and honest and get your point out there. People get bitter otherwise.

You might want to take a seminar on getting a backbone.

Yours truly,
Queen Bytch

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Dear Fuckwit!

Thank you for NOT giving your seat up the pregnant lady. Not only are you a sad representation of the male species you are a huge Fucking MORON. You were sitting in the seat right beside the doors. She came on and stood right in front of you. You looked up once and then never again.

This poor woman was at least 8 months pregnant and looked uncomfortable. An elderly lady was about to give up her seat when I noticed what was going on. I gave up my seat, yes you saw that and you also saw the pregnant woman waddle down towards me.

Wait till your old and invalid, Karma’s a funny thing. Remember this when no one gives you a seat, or helps you when you fall down. Remember this day.

Yours truly,
Queen Bytch

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Dear Moronic Bus Driver,

If you are so miserable with your job, why do you stay in it? Do you take pleasure in berating passengers who are only asking legitimate questions. She was obviously new to the city and our transit system and was simply asking if she was getting on the correct bus. You ripped into her as if she was a complete idiot. You made her feel small and I am sure making her afraid to ever ask for help again.

The timid little asian woman, you glared at as she entered your bus, was the one who generously answered the girl with the correct information. Information you should have willingly given. Information that is your duty to give to customers. Doesn’t your superior teach you customer service? Wasn’t being locked out of your job enough for you to appreciate it. No?

Now I understand why people can’t tolerate many of the bus drivers on our public transit system. Especially if they are all like you. Do us all a favour and quit your job, so they can replace you with someone who gives a shit!

Yours truly,
Queen Bytch