::Shebytches::

On Wednesday one of my favourite aunts past away. Aunt Pat was generous, loving, funny and incredibly stubborn. Since my birth she has refused to call me by my proper name. She insisted that she call me Carrie. I am not sure if this was before or after she saw the movie, but none the less I was her Carrie. Of course this always led to many lengthy arguments with her. I never won any of them, ever. So to this day I remained Carrie.

She was an amazing lady and will be missed tremendously and I know her passing will be not be accepted well by those close to her. Aunt Pat had a way of seamlessly making everything work like a well-oiled machine. If she was running a family reunion it would be the best one you ever attended. She always had a sandwich prepared for you before you walked through her front door and she made some of the best damn dessert squares on the planet. It’s going to be very strange going up north and not seeing her or not hearing her laugh, or smart-ass come back to one of my father’s zingers. To this day he hasn’t been able to get the last word with her.

Saturday was her funeral. I didn’t go. My family understands this but others may not. I don’t attend funerals because I don’t want this to be the last thing I remember of the people I love. I also don’t think you should have a funeral. When my time comes I have instructed that I be cremated (apparently funeral pyres are not allowed in this country, but cremation is. Yet they both involve fire), there be no funeral and there had better be a roof raising party to celebrate my life. I do not want anyone grieving my loss. I have gone on to something bigger and better. I strongly believe in the after life. There has to be something after this life. If there isn’t that would completely suck ass! I have also told everyone that if they do have a funeral and not a party I will come back and haunt them! I have no issues with haunting people.

Not everyone sees it this way though. Many cultures expect you to grieve for extended periods of time. I respect that this is the way they honour their loved ones. But this is not for me. Our lives are way to short and we need to enjoy them. I think the Scottish and Irish cultures (both my cultures) have it right. Help the deceased pass onto the next life by drinking, eating and dancing until they pass out.

I have my own special way of saying farewell to the people in my life that have passed on to the next. It is quiet, respectful and personal. Even though others might not get it. I am certain that Aunt Pat would.

I have spoken!

Please email us your comments about the above article and we will post them on this page!
You can also email me at carolina@shebytches.com.

What you said!!!

Hello,
Wow! I can't believe I just read that letter. I am a MAN who has been involved with a woman for 5 months and nearly every word you wrote, she has said to me. Only without the reason why. She too has been so hurt by ALL the men in her life that she "doesn't know how to love" or give. I have been tested time and time again by her cold heartedness and last week I told her I couldn't take it anymore and that I was ending us. Well, it wasn't what I really wanted. I was hoping she would see that she could lose me if she didn't wake up from her emptiness. Seven days later I called her first and she was like more unattached and said she didn't want to see me any more, that she went out on a date that Thursday night and that she was seriously trying now to make her marriage work. Perhaps I shouldn't even be involved with her but she and her husband have been separated for seven months and her past is full of lies, deception and shallow desires for money and high end society living.
We are still talking but it really seems awkward and sex is off the table. She says she just wants to "be friends" that she might want to date other men if she doesn't get back with her husband but that she says she cant give me what I want...A deeper consistent relationship, if not a committed one. I was married for twenty years.
It took me two years and seven months and four days before I met this woman and she was the first that I shared a bed with since my wife's death. I am 40 years old. Fairly young but I never did the dating thing. My wife was my first. this woman is my second. I want so much for her to see that I wont ever hurt her but I am so lost as what to do. I feel I am losing her and there is nothing I can do to hold on to her.
I understand that love can be scary But I WOULD RATHER LOVE AND BE HURT THEN TO BE HURT BY NOT BEING LOVED.

What you wrote about Growing Up Female

I know what you mean. Growing up without the direct encouragement from my father and mother made me a teenager w/ so much angst and depression, however it made me a stronger person eventually.
--
~ hazel rapanan

I just can't begin to tell you how your artical changed some of my thinking ... I have also struggled to be a thin woman ,I am 30 years old and have had two children and I have found it's not an easy thing to live up to "mens ideals on our weight" .. I like who i am and for the most part what I look like .. I would like to lose weight but everytime i seem to fail i just eat more and it somehow takes away from who i feel i am within .. Does this make sense to you ?Please feel free to email me with more advise .. Thanx again Laurie ...

What you wrote about Growing Up Female
This is amazing, Sarrah. I think you know that I am one of those people who understands. If there's one good thing that's come out of the last two weeks it's this intense sense of regaining who I am, and that's worth everything. You're incredible. Anna.I was so relieved to hear about your positive experience in stopping the pill. I have felt like I was "in a fog" for awhile sort of and am hoping for similar results as you had when I stop the pill in 2 weeks. Thanks for sharing that story!

What you wrote about The Bitch Factor

Hi there,

I just read your article, on not being a nice guy anymore. Boy, work or the home front must have pushed too far!!!! Hope your new self is brining you happiness, although I must say I always enjoyed your pleasant demeanor. You have a terrific writing style and the tone in which you write these articles always brings me to chuckle.

Talk to you soon MS. NASTY,
Andrea

What you wrote about I Am Angry

There's a great solace in being a misanthrope. I am disappointed with all of humanity, and I wish we would just all go away.

What you wrote about Make-Up

Hi!
Just found this site and wanted to respond as I enjoyed the site and will add it to my favorites .
In response to your last bytch on makeup. I wear makeup because it makes me feel good! I wear it for me, no one else. And dahyamn! I hadn't thought of the response it gets me with opened doors from another living soul and here I thought it was because they were raised with values. hmm...it is true that one learns something new everyday.
Take care!
~Cheryl

What you wrote about Halloween

I also like to watch Halloween. The first one of course because it is the scariest. My favorite candy is Hershey's (plain) or the kisses (any kind is fine by me). Happy Halloween!
~Kim Wytch

What you wrote about you bastard

At least you have a sense of humour about it. I would have just killed her.

What you wrote about things that don't make sense!

You ladies always crack me up!

Names of things. Why is a hamburger called a hamburger, there isn't any ham in it.

What you wrote about Scaring yourself.

I hear you! I do it all of the time too. I am totally obsessed with Stephen King novels! What is your favourite Scary movie?

In response to above my favourite movie is a movie called The Changeling. It starred George C. Scott.

~Carolina

I also love HP Lovecraft and Poe. They are totally the Kings of horror!

What you wrote about Sickness

Maybe they should skin those people alive and see if it is enough agony and pain! Fucking legal system

I live in Toronto and I remember when the posters went up regarding the torture video. Those people are sick and don't deserve to go free. It might be sick of me to say this, but those sicko's probably enjoyed what they did and all they got was a slap on the wrist. Give them a year and once they think the story has blown over they will do something worse.