Guest Bytch Cindy Procter-King GIMME AN E!

I’m obsessed with the spelling of my last name. Specifically, the half preceding the hyphen: Procter (note the E). It’s a simple enough name. Seven measly letters. Apparently, it rhymes with doctor, but is that any reason for nearly everyone I meet to misspell it as ProctOr?

Guest Bytch Amira Elgan Greenwashing Alert
Junk food companies know healthy food is in demand. The solution? Change the marketing!

Huge corporations, including grocery store chains, fast food restaurants, processed-food manufacturers, television networks and marketing agencies conspire with their vast resources (food and beverage manufacturers spend about $12 billion per year on marketing) to create powerful messages that shape our perceptions. These campaigns have just one goal: To maximize demand for their products to increase profitability, even if it comes at the expense of our health.

Guest Bytch Jean Smith Plenty of Fish -- a free online dating site I went for "coffee" Saturday morning. I'd instigated things. He'd basically shown very little interest. The night before "coffee" I emailed to ask if he still wanted to meet, since he had been on PoF from very early to very late that day. He didn't respond.

Guest Bytch Collen MacIsaac Little acts of kindness. Unexpected bonuses. Getting just a little bit more than you asked for. We all like it when it happens, and it takes so little effort in most cases - it's cliche, but the world really would be a better place if we all did just a little extra for each other. I was thinking about this the other day when I received an unexpected bonus on a cheque from a client.

Guest Bytch Janet Lane Rage and its wrinkles

A road rage trial is in progress in Denver.  A maniac driver caused the death of two innocent people back in November.  It frustrates me to read his pitiful defense, that he really didn't pull in front of another driver and slam on his brakes, right in front of him, on a high speed highway; that he didn't cause the driver he was attacking to swerve, hit him, flip in the air toward oncoming traffic and land on another car, instantly killing both innocent drivers.

Guest Bytch Natalie Maclean What is your new book—Red, White, and Drunk All Over—about?
 
I take my readers behind the scenes of the international wine world, exploring its history, visiting its most evocative places and meeting its most charismatic personalities.

Guest Bytch Sarah Kramer Check out our interview with Vegan Cookbook Goddess Sarah Kramer!

Guest Bytch by Two Girls and a Podcast On Living Alone Most young folks dream of the day they can finally have a place all to themselves. How great it will be to not have to deal with parents or roommates! All of a sudden you can do whatever you want to do whenever you want to do it.

Guest Bytch by Loraine Despres THE LIFE YOU DESERVE “It’s Okay for a woman to know her place.  She just shouldn’t stay there.”  That’s Rule Number 48 Sissy LeBlanc’s SOUTHERN BELLE’S HANDBOOK. 

Guest Bytch by Karen Ballum Corners, Dirty Dancing and Life Nobody puts Baby in a corner. – Johnny Castle

I can’t even begin to count how many times in my life I’ve heard that line. Starting first with elementary school sleepovers and proceeding through university and times I should have been studying…

Guest Bytch by Catherine Connors Gloria and Me You might have heard about this Greenstone Media thing. It's this project that Gloria Steinem and Jane Fonda are pimping: talk radio by women, for women. Or for women, by women.I can't remember.

Guest Bytch by Sara L. Beck I was seven the first time someone pissed me off by trying to guess my age.

It was the 1970s. My parents had picked up a hitchhiker. He was a harmless-looking guy with shaggy white hair and a face full of friendly-looking wrinkles. He sat in the back seat of our Oldsmobile, wedged between my older brother and me.

Guest Bytch On Barney, SMUMs and getting real... by Ami McKay There was an article by Rebecca Eckler in this weekend's Globe and Mail ("Motherhood is Boring") featuring Helen Kirwan-Taylor's confession (which has already run in newspapers in the US and UK) "Sorry, but my children bore me to death."

Guest Bytch Superman by Liana K Superman is one of my favorite comic book characters. That seems passé to many people, and this is the topic of my guest bytch.

Guest Bytch Coming Out as Whitey by Sandra Alland During a public art piece last fall, Darren O'Donnell asked me, "What's your race?" I replied, "As far as I know — Scottish, Dutch, and French Canadian." O'Donnell persisted, "But what's your race?" I thought he wanted me to say "white," which would have been true, though far less specific.

Guest Bytch Rayna is named after an android from the original Star Trek series, Rayna is anything but robotic, and her music is a candid reflection of this.

Guest Bytch Erin Woodward was born in a small town just outside of Toronto, her two passions have always been traveling and writing. Based in the beautiful city of Toronto, Erin finds many things to write about and contribute to.

Guest Bytch Elayne Laken is a Toronto-based freelance writer and photojournalist. When she's not busy covering Toronto Fashion Week or the Toronto International Film Festival Elayne is a contributor to Elle Magazine, Privilege Magazine, Dining Out Toronto among others.

Guest Bytch Recently re-located from the beautiful British Columbia to Ontario, Candice Coughlin is enjoying the journey that keeps connecting her to other creative like-minds. An entertainment writer and promotions director for Cut and Print Entertainment Guide (www.cutandprint.ca)

Guest Bytch My super sweet 16 by Michelle Shipley "But I told daddy I wanted a band like 6 months ago!" whined a 15 year old in anticipation and planning of her sweet sixteen birthday party somewhere in the vicinity of Beverly Hills California.

Guest Bytch Cougar Territory by Myna Wallin "Do NOT run! Ever! Consider the housecat and the rat. What does the cat do when she sees the rat run? She chases it! The cougar will do the same thing if you run and I guarantee you, if she wants you, she will have you. YOU CANNOT OUTRUN A COUGAR!"

Guest Bytch Our Guest Bytch is the lovely Lara Amersey. Check out what this aspiring young actress has been doing, and read about her new Canadian series Monster Warrior that premiers Saturday, March 18 at 10:30 a.m.

Guest Bytch Interview with Joss Whedon by SF Said

Credit where it’s due. There would be no Joss Whedon interview here without Pixie, the amazing Shebytches columnist. In fact, I would know nothing about Whedon at all if she hadn’t made me watch Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I’d been aware that the show existed, and that a lot of women I knew loved it, but I’d never really given it a chance. Until I actually watched some — and then I couldn’t get enough.

Guest Bytch My Slow Descent Into Apathy by Richard

Last Saturday evening, I sat across the table from a complete stranger, who not that long ago had been everyone I thought I wanted to love in this world. She still bore the same identity, she still had the same expressions and gestures as last year’s amorous ghost. An identical throaty laugh, so at odds with the slight feminine frame still issued forth from within her. But no, it wasn’t her. The young woman whom I wanted so much is such a part of the past that I would never be taken in by this superficial reproduction.

Richard Fiennes-Clinton is not only a brilliant writer, but the founder of Muddy York Tours. www.muddyyorktours.com

Guest Bytch MISERY LOVES COMPANY BUT IT AIN'T ME by Sean Ward

So I’m going to write a Guest Bytch. Well, what do I have to bitch about? Let’s start with the thing itself: BYTCH. I’m making an assumption that they are as I begin this, but are bitch and bytch truly interchangeable? Wasn’t it Ice Cube who said a Bytch is a Bitch?

Sean Ward has been called "Toronto's Comics Rockstar" and "the hardest working man in comics".  He got started in 2003 selling his photocopied mini-comics from a street corner to pay the rent.  From those humble beginnings he has built an underground empire with his comic books, events, stage performances, and an all-consuming dedication to his art.  Sean has just signed with Speakeasy Comics, who will be publishing, The Sean Ward Electric Comics Freak-Out! internationally in full-color in 2006.  It's www.seanward.netfor the goods.

Guest Bytch *Alright, so what do you want to talk about this week? by Stuart Knight

I was thinking we could talk about masturbation. Oh my goodness. I can see it now. Please take me off your email list. By the way, I had this person email me last week saying "hey loser, take me off your email list." I emailed back and said "oh yeah, oh yeah.... Well I'll meet you at recess and we'll see who the loser is!"

Modeling and Brownies by Caroline Blaha-Black We see them on TV commercials and in movies every day. Tall, beautiful models, with their clothes, makeup and hair perfectly matched. Their long legs, little behinds and not the least amount of cellulite anywhere on their body would make any woman feel jealous.

Bio: I am a 27-year-old freelancer, born in the Czech Republic. I moved to USA in '96 and got my degree in journalism from Texas Woman's University in Texas. I live for writing, Tarot, travel, karate, yoga, animals and issues that have to do with women's rights. I write a variety of articles for online and print publications, dealing with everything from spirituality, environment and politics to pets, traveling, ethnic, essays, vignettes, etc. I live in Denton, TX, with a hubby and a bunch of pets. Check out who our past Guest Bytches have been!

Chek her out online at www.athenareich.com

Guest Bytch Reality TV… is such a fraud. To claim that 8 people would choose to live in a house together when one is a bible thumper, one is a hoar, one an ex-soap star, and one an ex-porn star, you get my meaning, there is no way in reality that these people would live together.

Ellen Carol
This past year has presented Ellen Carol with a plethora of opportunities. After meeting and impressing the owner of Joey Burke Studios with her demo recording of "Summer wind" he agreed to take her latest project. Returning to Toronto and the studio with fresh views and production ideas "Buttercup Hamsterjuice" was realized July 2004. Inspired by working with a producer who encouraged her creativity, she delved into her diverse influences.

Guest Bytch Black Girl Lost This is not a poem. This is a letter of confession. I am not ok. I have been through hell, and I don't know how much more of this I can take. I have been lied to, stolen from, neglected, raped, and mentally abused, by those I cared for the most.

The SPLIT Originally from Winnipeg, Manitoba and currently residing in Toronto. The Split uses her unique sense of diverse personalities to represent and express the versatility of the black woman in the struggle to redefine sexual roles through the explicit speech of her four characters. D-Licious (Erotic goddess); D’Troit (Ghetto-Girl); D Rae (Sistah Struggle) and D-Dee (That Black Girl Lost). She’s libel to Split your wig with her thought provoking verse. So pay close attention and never stop listening for the lesson to be learned.
For more info check out www.thesplit.ca and for an in-depth article on the Split go to http://www.lechinosoul.com/spokenwordsex.html (Spoken Word, Women & Sexuality

Guest Bytch Melinda Mattos - Open letter to the jerk who stole my recycling bin:
It was a lovely, lazy Saturday morning. The sun was shining through the skylight. My bunny rabbit was munching contentedly on some parsley. I woke up with a dreamboat of a man by my side. I had plans to attend a picnic. Golly gee, life was swell.

Melinda Mattos is the co-editor and co-publisher of Shameless (www.shamelessmag.com), a feminist magazine for teen girls, published out of various apartments and coffee shops in downtown Toronto. She has written and edited for the Toronto Star, the Globe and Mail, NOW, and a variety of top secret websites. She really wants her blue box back.

Guest Bytch The Fine Art of Insomnia (or how to have late night fun in sleepy Toronto) By Tara Bursey

I have a hormonal imbalance. For the past few months, I've been a post-menopausal twenty-two year old. I've been depressed, irritable, self-destructive, withdrawn, obsessed with food and socially isolated. In other words, despite the hormonal imbalance, I've been my same old self.

BIOGRAPHY:
When Tara isn't circling the parking lot of the new Liberty Village Dominion on her bicycle or perusing the licorice section at a 7-11 at 3 A.M, she is an art student, freelance illustrator, and peddler of vintage clothing in Kensington Market. In her spare time, she bakes, collects records, studies modern and contemporary art, and spends ridiculous amounts of money on vintage doodads, clothing and paper nostalgia. Tara also has a zine called Poseur Grrrl, and is the creator of numerous one-shot zines and artist's books.)

Guest Bytch I am such a bad feminist. I am a traitor to the cause. I do not sit around wondering about the paternalistic neo-conservative agenda. I do not write papers about it.

Sandra "Snad" Polifroni is a disgruntled Computer Scientist who's currently on leave from a PhD. She has a degree in Physics which helps her make fun of "science" shows on cable channels. Snad loves to complain and has been told that no one complains as well as
she does. Snad's taken her love of complaining and created an on-line journal chronicling her exciting adventures through her PhD
and a page full of reviews of restaurants she's been to in the GTA (and beyond!)

Guest Bytch Bad Boy by Heidi Wyss We were in the garden when we first saw those grey, black and white tiger markings, the flat head, and the banded tail which Kaatje promptly and accidentally stepped on with her laced boots. An anguished scream came in reply.

"I'm such a cunt," said Kaatje, shaking her head.

"Kaatje, what really annoys me is how you use that word every time you think you've bollixed the Pollux. I still don't like it."

Heidi Wyss is the author of Gormglaith, 76,000 words of radical feminist separatist literature set in a scientifically plausible future. The novel can be read online for free at http://www.literateweb.com/wyss.htm

Guest Bytch Michelle Chee A Case of Homophobia on the Easter Long weekend: how convenient
It was the long Easter weekend. Nothing could go wrong. How could it? Everyone was too busy at Church, breaking bread and drinking wine with god or working Easter Monday.

Michelle Chee is a writer and artist who has just recently put out issue #2 of Zine~ This Side Up (with co-partner). She is also working on an anthology of her writing and photographs, as well as organizing a new zine to follow suite late fall. Michelle is a rant raving, crazed talking woman who doesn’t take shit from anyone. That’s it and that’s all.

Guest Bytch Sandra Di Zio Are you a Pissy Pants? If you think concoction is a dirty word, if you can’t choose a cucumber in a grocery store without blushing, if you can’t bring yourself to use the plural form of ball, if you hate the name Regina but like the name Virginia, if you won’t date Roger from work because then you’d have to tell people he’s a pianist, well then you’re a Pissy Pants.

Sandra Di Zio is a poet and spoken word artist who has performed/featured at the Rivoli, the Renaissance Café, Free Times Cafe, the I.V. Lounge, the Victory Café, The 360, on HOWL, Nik Beat’s CIUT 89.5 FM radio show, and in the literary magazines, Labour of Love and Echolocation. She has been a featured poet at Nik Beat's Words and Music, at Cryptic Chatter, and is an original Siren, appearing twice in the ever-popular Night of Sirens series. She has collaborated with other artists on songs and poetry, played host on the open stage, and released a chapbook of her collected poems, entitled Presuming Agent Joy, in October 2003.
Webpage: http://sandradizio.coffeehouse.ca

Guest Bytch Cheri Michael I can’t stand it when I’ve just had what I think is a very connected, honest, sexual engagement and the person lying next to me says, "what just happened?"

Cheri Michael, creator of Night of Sirens and proprieter of Eros Fine Arts, is an artist of the moment, a lover of the human arts, and a spoken word performance artist who uses whatever it takes! www.erosfinearts.com tells you more about Eros Fine Arts, which focuses on "The Art of Being Human Through Sacred Sexuality," and is quite informative about Night of Sirens. http://cherimichael.coffeehouse.ca will soon have Cheri's poetry available in mp3 format as well as having her two self-published chapbooks "Words To Heal By" and "Just In Time For St. Valentine's Day" available for purchase online. It's the place to find out more about Cheri, her writing and her performances - join the mailing list to keep updated!

Guest Bytch -What Do Smoking, Spoken Word, and Grade 2 Have To Do With Each Other? And How To Quit.
By Jill Binder

It was a cold evening in Spring 2001, and I was in for quite the shock.

http://www.stopsmokingcoach.ca
Jill Binder is a Stop Smoking Coach with a 100% success rate.
Like what she’s got to say? Like her style? Sign up for her ezine: "Turn Your Weaknesses Into Your Perfect Life!" (for smokers and non-smokers alike) Get a free gift for signing up, the e-workbook "What’s Your Smoking Type? The Secret Key to Quitting Smoking!"

http://www.jillbinder.com
In her other life, Jill is also a Spoken Word Artist. She performs all over.
She’s not fragmented… really. She’s well-rounded! You can get on her poetry gig mailing list here.

Guest Bytch -For this Guest Bytch we are doing things a little differently. This guest bytch is dating from a guys point of view.

Have I allowed myself to be that proverbial door mat for the last time? I hope so but can’t guarantee that I would not do it again. I tend to marinate in misery – falling for those guys that are like the dark horse that comes trotting into town. I know I am making a mistake in falling for them but I do it anyway.

Jeff Grixti works at a publishing company by day. He is currently looking for Mr. Right but unfortunately having no luck whatsoever. In his spare time he loves to write and travel.

Guest Bytch - Your Mother Needs a Slap For Not Raising You Right There are many things to be shocked about in this world. Violence, disease, war... there is a lot of evil. Why then, are people not making a positive difference where they can? The little civilized gestures have all but disappeared in today's society, and it's a damn shame. They've been replaced by atrocious social faux pas that are making me ill from the horror.

Cynthia Gould is a Toronto painter, & performance poet. She has appeared on TV & radio, and in print in everything from newspapers to zines to Reader's Digest. She co-authored the poetry book "Some Words Spoken", published through Burning Effigy Press (http://www.somewordsspoken.com). She is currently working on a rewrite of her first novel, and plotting global domination through happy jewel coloured paintings. Check out her art at http://ww.cynthiagould.com, sign up for her e-mail list at http://cynthiagould.coffeehouse.ca No, really, sign up for the mailing list right now! Cynthia has several solo art shows coming up, spoken word performances, and crazy events such as Bridesmaidmania on the horizon. (You cannot stop one hundred drunken bridesmaids!)

Guest Bytch - Brittney Hall -This weeks guest bytch comes from Brittney Hall the very talented writer of thehallway.net. It is a pro gay marriage article that will put a smile on your face.

Brittney Hall is the co-creator, webmistress, and writer for TheHallway.net and its monthly newsletter. She enjoys her day job even though it has nothing whatsoever to do with her education background, or plans to take over the world. She has been writing since before she was born and has attained cult-like status among her friends and family. In her spare time, she and her husband make laughable attempts to renovate their house, which has inspired her to write a serial story about its previous occupants. She is always on the lookout for the perfect chocolate experience and believes that Portland, Oregon is the center of the universe.

Guest Bytch - Anne F. Walker - artist's orgy bytch It’s difficult to dress for an orgy while single-parenting a growing inquisitive child. Partly because I want a little quiet baking-soda-bath time, a brand-new razor, and time to decide if I will put on make-up, which will come off in the pool or hot tub. Or to go sans makeup.

Anne F. Walker is a celebrated North American poet who divides her time between Berkeley, California, and Toronto. Her recent book of poetry The Exit Show tells a passionate and compassionate story of romantic and sexual multiplicity. Globe and Mail reviewer Fraser Sutherland has described The Exit Show as "toward pure music and dance."

Guest Bytch - Lauren Sassella - MISS WORLD Anything Courtney Love related kicks my ass into gear. She is undeniably a force of nature. Reading biographies on her or interviews with her makes me want to pick arguments with anyone and everyone about anything and everything.

Lauren Sassella is a young Australian writer who has recently had her poetry and essays published in various magazines, ezines and anthologies. She is currently studying Arts at university.

Guest Bytch - ***BY POPULAR DEMAND *** Liz West - Every single time I sit down to do an interview, and I've probably done hundreds for sure, there's a certain amount of sweat escaping from my pores.

Liz West is the Entertainment Specialist, "CityPulse at Six" and Host, "Star! At The Movies", Star!

Guest Bytch - 1-900-girlsgirlsgirls by Neelam Arora So, apart from trying to build a career in writing, I work in a call centre, answering people's questions about their student loans. So the other day at work I had a call from a guy that at first I thought was very embarrassing.

Bio: Neelam Arora first appeared in the anthology What’s Wrong? Published by Arsenal Pulp Press, and also has a story in the 2003 SPX anthology. Her first full length work is a graphic novel she is working on with Arthur Dela Cruz called My Destroyer published by Oni Press, which will be out this summer. She likes to draw, write and take pictures, and puts this stuff up on her website, www.awalkinthepark.com.

Carrie A. Cantwell - Whatever Happened to Customer Service Anyway? by Carrie Cantwell of epitomegirl.com

Look dude, I've been there OK?
I remember back in the day when I used to sling ice cream for less than minimum wage, and I wore a smile on my face that would make Sandra Dee drool.

Guest Bytch Dare to be Single There is much hoo ha for the final season of "Sex and The City". While people touted it as a groundbreaking show that made being a thirty-something single gal acceptable, it has become remarkably underwhemling.

Kitty Kowalski is the front-person for New York's The Kowalskis. She broke onto the New York Scene first in an all-girl band called Starkist, and then as owner of the New York nightclub, Coney Island High.

After The Kowalskis released their debut CD, All Hopped Up on Goofballs, she toured the US, Europe and Canada. She has also won songwriting competitions for Jane Magazine, Shure Microphones and Billboard Magazine.

Guest Bytch I’ve come across two types of people who say, erroneously, that they're not competitive.

The first are men who are kings of their respective hills.

The second are women who have misplaced their moxie.

Tanya Angell Allen is an essayist whose work has appeared in *Chicklit,* *Centralbooking,* *Ms Online,* and *The New York Times.* She claims to have more staggering genius than Dave Eggers, and hopes to someday take down Zadie Smith.

Guest Bytch My inbox is filled with fear.
"I’m afraid to tell my boyfriend that he’s hurting me," a young girl writes. "I’m afraid that he’ll get mad."

"I’m afraid that the kids at my new school will think I’m fat," writes a 14-year old from Toronto, moments before a 13-year old goes on to describe how she hides the scars of failed suicide attempts from her parents because she’s "afraid they’ll send her away.

Stacey McLeod is a 22-year old Journalism student in Toronto and founder of Toronto Girl Magazine. When she’s not playing around in the media, Stacey is attempting to call herself a musician by playing her boring, awful folk songs at open mics in bars and cafes. She is overdramatic, sometimes overbearing and constantly, constantly making a fuss over nothing—but, hey. She is totally proud of being a girl and tries her best to give young girls in T.O. a chance to feel the same.

Guest Bytch An Open Letter to the Dudes of the Music Industry

Dear Dudes of the Music Industry,
What do George Harrison, Barry White, Johnny Cash, Joey Ramone, Robert Palmer and Eliott Smith have in common aside from great stage names and lucrative recording contracts?

Gabbie Nirenburg is a sophomore at Oberlin College and only a little scared of turning 20. Though she’s been published in a few (now defunct) web magazines and indie print publications, her writing has nonetheless been rejected by the likes of Mcsweeney’s and Salon. She hopes one day to see a kindly worded rejection notice from the New Yorker and possibly the Paris Review, if she’s lucky. Her website – Girl, Inform me (girlinformme.com) – is attractive, intelligent, and single, but has been prone of late to work the street corners in seedy neighborhoods just to get a few hits.

Guest Bytch I have no point. Yet I must Scream - A mini comic by Justine Shaw

Justine Shaw is the creator of the amazing online comic called Nowhere Girl. She is an amazing writer and artist and a shining star!!!

Maureen Holloway - Ho's - Comedian Bill Maher recently remarked that what with the way women dress these days, he feels sorry for the ho’s, because there’s no way to tell them apart.

Guest Bytch -Cindy Mielke The Available Pool
I have been asked more times that I can count, am I dating anybody, and if not, why? I can break this down to three reasons, let us call them subsections of the "Available Pool". Keep in mind that when I refer to the "Available Pool", I am referring to single men.

She is a self-proclaimed Goddess of Bitchery (although some would argue it is a much deserved title proclaimed by others as well) who is deliciously on the cusp of 30. With her Clairol-tinted auburn and gold flecked hair and her flab-ulous body, she is a firm believer that there is beauty in all of us and that everything happens for a reason. She is a gem of person with a rapier wit and plenty to bitch about (just ask her friends!). So keep your eyes peeled for more from her as I am sure she will have more to bytch about.....

Guest Bytch -Julie Bateman "Being married is like having to eat Corn Flakes every day."

Well, that's what my first boss after college said to me, while trying to explain why I should let him kiss me even though he has "a wife and three wonderful sons".

Julie Bateman, also known as Big Sister on Doing it in T.O. : The Ultimate Girl's Guide to T.O., the website she and her Little Sister created ( http://www.doingitinto.com ) is still stuck in her day job as graphic designer, but planning to break free very soon! You can also check out her freelance design site at http://www.juliebateman.com .

Guest Bytch -Chelsea Voulgares Ready-Made Style: "Who Let That Girl Wear My Shoes?"
By Chelsea Voulgares Stores like Urban Outfitters, Express, and even Target are making millions off pseudo-vintage rock and sports t-shirts: pre-faded jerseys with screen-printed horses that say things like "Colts," or black muscle shirts boasting "punk" in neon pink letters.

Chelsea Voulgares is a writer and performer living in Chicago, whose non-fiction work has appeared in both Venus and Bust magazines. She is an active online journaler, and is currently writing a novel about the seedy underbelly of a small midwestern town.

Parental Guidance by Erin Dailey I don’t hate babies, okay? Let’s just get that clear. They’re relatively cute. I mean, the majority of them. I mean, they’re not always BORN cute, but most of them wind up mildly adorable by about five months. They’re pudgy, giggly, curious, and they only smell bad on the rare occasion. Babies are okay.

Erin Dailey is a freelance writer and web designer with a fine selection of day jobs to her credit. She sporadically updates her website, The Redhead Papers, and promises to get the damn redesign done as soon as possible. When the television season is up and running, she writes brilliantly snarky recaps of the hit ABC show Alias for the fabulous website, Television Without Pity. And, yes, Sydney Bristow is based on her college spy-girl antics. When she's not churning out cheesy ad copy, she enjoys caressing her PS2 and her new copy of Primal and admits to downing the occasional fruity cocktail. She is 34 and doesn't care who knows it.

Maureen Holloway - Sex and Comedy - Why is sex so funny? Because it is – don’t tell me it isn’t. Apparently Inuit people use the same word for sex and laughter, which can lead to some confusion at Inuit comedy clubs. Anyway, as someone once said, sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy, and let’s not forget that. It can be a complicated process, as in threesomes, or a very simple act, such as a onesome.

You may know Maureen Holloway as the host of The Last Word, a commentary on the foibles of the famous, heard daily on Q107 in Toronto, Mix 96 in Montreal, Power 97 in Winnipeg and Rock 101 in Vancouver.

Stephanie "Tess" Jones "I’m A Dick- I’m Addicted to you!"
~ My Experience in the Twelve Step Hopeless Romantic Anonymous Program ~

Let me be the first to tell you that I am in the twelve step Hopeless Romantics Anonymous Program. (My only problem is that sometimes I have this incredible habit of back tracking between "Why am I so damn bitter?" and "God I love you! Bring on the Fairy Tale!")

Stephanie Nadine Marie Jones (aka "Tess") is the founder of Sinful Soughts

Cynthia Cameron- I am so full of shit; it's not even funny. With more dog crap on the neighbourhood lawn than dandelions, I set out to investigate this problem.

Cynthia Cameron is an award-winning writer, mother of three, wife of one. Stay tuned at Shebytches.com as she has joined our family of writers.

Debora Myers- We All Want the Same Thing A Free Country and Peace

I’ve been told by people who are my classmates, peers, employers, friends, readership and strangers that I take sides with Saddam and am a “traitor” to America because I am against the preemptive invasion of Iraq. Let’s get one thing straight.

Debora Myers is editor and co-founder of Ladyfire.com. She is a graduate of the Self Heal School of Herbal Medicine in San Diego, CA. She has also studied extensively with Traditional American Indian Healers and been actively involved in the civil rights and environmental movements. Debora is a life long student, constantly updating and educating herself concerning the holistic healing arts and sexuality. She lives with her husband and two children.

Anna - On What It Means To Be A Cunt Offensive word, isn’t it? Cunt. It’s a horrible and degrading insult that is used like a weapon of mass destruction. It is meant to keep women in their place; to let them know that they are dirty, filthy, and worthless.

Anna is a Tarot card and tealeaf reader. She has been studying the Tarot for many years and was the in house reader for U8TV’s ‘The Lofters’. She has just completed her first novel, "In Waking Dreams". She lives in Toronto and is owned by Simon and Ruthie, who refuse to believe that they are cats and who barely tolerate her presence.

Monica Kuebler - Dating As A Battlefield (one Girl's rant on Modern Love) - "Love is a battlefield", the phrase has transcended merely being an 80's song title. We've turned into a generation of the walking wounded.

monica s. kuebler is a writer, performer, photographer, alternative model, porn reviewer, chronic dreamer and sometime actress.

Lulu Brooks (Diane Naegel)-fashion bitching. okay...i like to think i'm my own variety of 'feminist', in that i encourage any girl/woman/etc to go out and follow their dreams and fight off adversity and teach the world a lesson as far as our
capabilities as women...

diane naegel is a soon-to-graduate fashion design student in cincinnati, ohio.

Jen Van Meter - Girls & Comics What’s my bitch? Well, it started out as a railing complaint about the amount of time and energy people in the comics industry spend moaning about how the business and the form are dying and nothing’s as good as it once was and why-oh-why can’t we all, essentially, have our youth back.

Jen Van Meter is the author of Hopeless Savages, Hopeless Savages: Ground Zero, and the upcoming Too Much Hopeless Savages from Oni Press. Other credits in comics include The Golden Streets of Gotham and an upcoming DC miniseries, Cinnamon: el Ciclo.

October -Late Again I seem to have this tiny problem with deadlines. Not sure if it’s the rebel in me left over from high school or what, but I just can’t seem to get anything done on time. Like this guest column. I won’t tell you how many times Carolina asked for this before I finally sent it to her.

October is an up and coming writer.

Cynthia Cameron -I'm a reluctant exhibitionist. I stick my ass in the air for strange men. Many strange men, in fact. I flash my tits to even stranger men, when I get very desperate. Hell, I'll even spread my legs for a middle-aged woman when it feels right.

Cynthia Cameron is an award-winning writer, mother of three, wife of one. She has a great set of tits and ass. Just ask a doctor.

Serena Valentino - First let me say that I do not speak for all woman. All woman's breasts are different, and there for they may have different experiences than myself when shopping for a bra. In fact, it's my hope that all the woman of the world do not have to go through what I do when trying to find a bra! But my fear is that the majority of you do.
Serena Valentino is the co-creator and writer for GloomCookie as well as her new series Nightmares & Fairy Tales.

MegaBeth - Star Worship and Other Idol Pastimes- Why is that so many people are literally obsessed with worshipping celebrities? Is it because their own lives are so uninteresting that they seek outside distraction? Or, is it just one more symptom of the dumbing-down of society?

MegaBeth, 30 year old Spinster from Chicago, oldest of six, who loves tattoos, motorcycles,
Johnny Depp and her cat. She is also the genius behind The Bitter Barren Spinster Club.