Girly Bytch - Sorry I can usually tell when someone’s been in therapy. They make liberal use of the following phrases: 1. “I am who I am.” 2. “I’m a flawed human being.” 3. “I’m doing the best I can with what I know”. As a former self-help junkie, I finally understand why the whole fix-yourself-up movement gets a bad rap. Sure some folks are just trying to relieve their pain but many are looking for excuses to explain away their bad behavior.

Topless Twit

The little dog hour was corrupted today by a silly twit who felt the need to go topless in the park. With her pink bikini bottoms, boobs swaying in the wind, slathering oil all over herself in front of children, dogs and neighbours, it became clear that this woman was not really out for sun, she was out for attention. What kind of a tan can one possibly expect to get at 5:30 in the afternoon?

Girly Bytch - Ode to a Toe There it was - my toe - pink, plump and perfect staring out at me from underneath my yoga pants. It winked coyly, grateful to be free of the flecks of burgundy polish left over from my New Year’s application.  

Girly Bytch - Bound & Determined Today in tribute to our foremothers, I sucked in my stomach, threw my shoulders back and snapped the elastic of my being.  I bought a girdle. 

Girly Bytch - I’m a 33-year-old, career driven, feminist and I knit. It’s not cool. It’s not sexy and it’s not what I bring up on the first date. Okay, I’m a bit defensive

GirlyBytch -A Damn Tall Order Today I was visited by a nasty thought.  Actually it was a succession of nasty thoughts.  To be completely honest, they started yesterday.  I had listened to a phone message from my mother without mentally bracing myself for the icy, petty drenched, fear encrusted spoil that I knew would spew from the receiver.

For My Sake I'm a freelancer so every so often I panic about money. Despite my chants for abundance and my meditations on letting go of lack, I still worry how I'll be able pay the rent, look chic and keep my roots hidden with exceptionally rich colour.

How to Host a Hypno Party Copyright , July 2002, 2003

(* names have been withheld to protect the hypnotized.)

"Is it just me or is it a little warm in here?" I hear a female voice whisper through the uncomfortable silence in my living room.

On Being Perfect by . August 2003 - There is nothing like an intense fight with a complete stranger to remind you about all of the things that you don't like about yourself. Of course leave it to me to go at it with a complete stranger. In my defense, he was an Aries.