I am not sure how most of you feel about your high school years. For me it was the most painful time of my life. I pretty much hated each and every day of it. It wasn’t school I hated it was because of the way I was treated by the people I went to school with. I didn’t fit in and was considered a freak. People couldn’t understand why I liked what I liked and why I believed in what I believed in. I was an outcast and that was never going to change. I know I wasn’t the only one who felt this way. Others who dared to be different were also alienated and mistreated. We grew up in a small town. A place were being different isn’t readily acceptable.

Not everyone was evil however; there were a few girls I went to school with that didn’t treat me like I was the town freak. I moved away from my hometown when I was 18. I lost touch with almost everyone I grew up with. Over the years I have often wondered what happened to those girls. Where they are, how they are, did their dreams come true and are they happy? I decided to track them down to find out just what did happen.

We all dreamed about what we were going to be when we grew up. Some of us had realistic dreams, some not so realistic. My dreams spanned from being a veterinarian to a famous writer to a famous fashion designer to an actress. In my dreams I was able to do all of these things. When I was 16 I changed my mind about becoming a vet. I had to make the decision to euthanasia my beloved dog. It was the toughest decision I have ever made in my life. A decision I knew I couldn’t ask others to do. After that I wasn’t completely sure what I wanted to do. When I moved to Toronto to study Graphic Design I dabbled in acting. I was an extra on a few shows, but that was it. I was too young and insecure and the rejection wasn’t easily accepted. I wasn’t mature enough to be told I wasn’t pretty enough, I wasn’t thin enough, my boobs were too small and my hair was the wrong colour. I had heard harsher than that, but I don’t feel like rehashing. One day I may tempt fate and try acting again. For now, I get to live out my dream of being a writer.

When I contacted my friends to interview them they were more than happy to participate. I was completely blown away by how diverse their life decisions were. Almost every one of them is on adifferent path than they originally chose. There are two exceptions; Marjorie wanted to be a nurturing mother and nurse since childhood. She is living that dream with a house and a husband and two healthy daughters. Kathy E on the other hand never really had a specific dream growing up and she is still searching for what it is she is meant to be. As she puts it, "I'm trying to figure out what I would do if I could do anything. It's a difficult thing to do because I have a good job that I mostly enjoy and I make a pretty good salary doing it. I also have financial responsibilities now, so quitting everything to become a potter doesn't seem reasonable to me." Even though she hasn’t figured out her dream Kathy is very happy in her life. She has a great husband and a wonderful little girl and sometimes that’s more important than fulfilling a dream.

Not unlike myself, Lynn wanted to work in the world of media, she studied Broadcast Journalism at Mohawk College. That is where the similarity ends. I came from home where I was encouraged to live out my dreams. Lynn wasn’t as lucky. When interviewing Lynn I asked her if once you reached high school did your dreams and goals change? If so what did they evolve to and what made you change them? Lynn responded, "Yes, I had evolved from someone who lived pretty much in a shell because I was always told at home that I would amount to nothing. I made as many friends as I could so I could avoid the family life and got involved with the public whenever I could which has made me a better person. My friends and people I met along the way made me realize that it didn't matter what my family said I could do whatever I wanted to do with my life." And Lynn did just that, she moved away from home, got married to a wonderful man and even got the chance to work at the Peterborough Examiner. When Lynn was asked if she was happy with how her life turned out so far, she confidently answered, "I am very happy with my life right now. I have been happily married for 16 years to a man who makes me realize how precious life really is. He has many medical problems right now and each day unfolds with miracles and surprises."

Some of us are making sacrifices in order to live out our dreams while others who are living their dreams choose another path to achieve a different kind of fulfilment. Kathy J chose motherhood over her dream of working in Forestry. She went to college in Sault Ste Marie for Forestry, got that degree and then got her fish and wildlife degree as well. I asked her what made her change her mind and she said, "but the ole biological clock ticked and I gave it up to have my kids - you have to know that my job wasn't cushy in a chair at a desk - I was in helicopters, light planes, on the ice in a four wheeler before others, in the middle of the bush telling guys with rifles they were being charged, not a place for a mother I figured."

In high school I got most of my inspirations as a writer and actor from my English teacher Bob Rix. In his own quirky way he was able to make me see my potential. At school he was my mentor and at home it was my Mother and Father. They coaxed my creative wants with gifts of paints and journals. I asked the girls who inspired them when they were growing up. For my cousin Melanie it was her Mom and her two Grams. One Gram is native and the other is not yet they had similar experiences and wisdom that guided her. Her friends also influenced her a lot both negative and positively. Now it is Melanie’s turn to share her wisdom with others, in September she is going to Teachers College at Queens University.

Sometimes our dreams and reality go from one extreme to the other. Angela K dreamed of being a stewardess growing up. She told me where her inspiration came from, "I spent my winters travelling with my parents to Europe, so seeing or hanging around flight attendants was a very natural thing to be doing. Plus they were always nice and gave me all kinds of neat stuff." Today Angela is a web designer.

All of our dreams have changed or grown over the years. I was glad to contact these old friends and to hear how much their lives have changed since high school. It made me realize that nothing is impossible and even if you don’t live out your dreams there is hope that one day you will.

I have spoken!

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