A
girl sits alone at the bar, a dry martini in her right hand,
two olives with a twist. As she slowly nurses her drink
her peripheral vision scopes out her surroundings. Not that
there is any need for it. When the mood is right, and a
lonely gentleman sees her sitting unattended an army wouldn’t
be able to keep him from her. In a blur of cheesy pick up
lines, martinis and polite laughter he will have her number.
Maybe this will be the last time she gives out her number,
or maybe not. She may have to relive this scene a hundred
more times before the right guy asks but for once, cliché
or not, it’s that easy.
In the past I may have been too quick in christening the
internet as a superior tool for dating in the 21st century.
There are some unconstructive aspects to it as well. It’s
true the above illustration is still a reality in today’s
dating scene, however, it is now marred by technological
advances that may or may not be making it easier to find
"the one".
What
am I talking about??
Simply put: Online Chat.
How many of you have: spent at least an hour of your life
chatting to a potential love candidate online or even just
making plans? In extreme cases people can replace physical
contact absolutely via online interaction?
One of my friends met a guy at a house party. They casually
chatted for 45 minutes. He gave her his MSN address, and
so she added him. Since that fateful day they have spent
countless hours talking to each other online but have yet
to see each other in person again. The illusion on MSN or
other online chat methods is that you get to know a person
without really having to put yourself out there. Hiding
behind your keyboard you can’t be held responsible
for what you say or how another person may interpret your
keyboard strokes. I understand this point of view. Most
of us would find it easier to bare our true character via
MSN then we would ever likely do in person. Just as alcohol
is sometimes referred to as "liquid courage" MSN
gives you that same courage by adding a remoteness that
lets you be especially honest. Yet isn’t there something
lacking? Where does this leave physical connection? I am
of the mind set that if you were to put down the keyboard
and simply meet for coffee you may be further along then
you could ever hope to be after a five hour MSN marathon.
Is there really a place for MSN in today’s dating scene?
And if so how much of a role should it really play? Do we
use it so we can hide behind the reality of who we really
are? Or is it simply a good way to get to know someone?
These are all good questions that have me considering boycotting
MSN all together, but then we run into a similar conundrum;
email.
A
story about myself:
I
met a guy (my best friend’s friend) at a bar and I
must admit I drank more then my fair share of alcohol that
evening, actually saying "my fair share" is being
generous. The fact that I remained upright was a feat in
itself. Anyways, I met a guy who I ended up spending the
majority of the evening with (all within the constraints
of the bar F.Y.I.), a couple of days later he emailed my
best friend and asked her for my email address…. WHAT
THE? She gave it to him and he emailed me. First off, he
used the excuse that he was emailing since he is really
busy and wouldn’t have the time to call me that week.
I was on the offensive immediately considering I will never
accept the excuse that someone doesn’t have the time
to call. I wanted to reply and let him know that his cell
phone would most certainly work: on the streetcar, in the
gym change room, in his living room or walking home from
work etc. Point being, I didn’t care where he was he
could most certainly find two minutes to pick up his phone
and say "hey". Regardless, we emailed back and
forth a couple times until I decided I wanted no more to
do with this cyberspace connection. So I sent him my phone
number with a quick note saying, "Call me whenever
you find time" … He never called. Imagine. I can’t
say I lost any sleep over it, but I have to ask why would
he go to the trouble of contacting me at all if he wasn’t
going to follow through?
I don’t think it’s a lot to ask that all my relationships
be in real time… or maybe it is?? Are cyberspace, online
banter and the infamous email delay all symptoms of the
new hook up scene? Will the day come when a guy asks me
for my MSN address at a bar? Or am I just out of the loop,
and we are already there?
he