::Shebytches::

Look dude, I've been there OK?
I remember back in the day when I used to sling ice cream for less than minimum wage, and I wore a smile on my face that would make Sandra Dee drool. Not only was I forced to wear a butterfly collar (and this was waaay before butterfly collars had made their big comeback baby) button-up shirt that was pink and brown striped, but I also had to handle so much Rocky Road and Gold Medal Ribbon that I actually got sick of it. If you know me, you know that the idea of me getting sick of ice cream would otherwise require a lobotomy. I also was too young to apply for a work permit in my state, but I really wanted some cool back-to-school clothes and since all I wore was black I had been banished to a future of supplying my own wardrobe, thanks to my neo-Catholic Mom.

So my boss at this unnamed ice cream chain you've probably figured out the name of by now decided he'd take blatant advantage of me and pay me $2.50 an hour. At the time minimum wage was $3.80 an hour. Who was I to complain? At least I'd have some cash at the end of the summer. Never mind the fact that my parents and I had to squeeze my last "paycheck" out of him like we were pulling teeth.

Nevertheless, the whole time I was there I treated each and every customer that came through the door like gold. I was polite, attentive, and willing to give out as many free tastes of each flavor as their little mouths could stand. I even grinned in the face of the harassment I got for being the only caucasian person within 2 miles of that Mall. Go ahead, call me a cracker, I'll hand you a box of saltines and laugh at you. The only time I lost my composure was when a girl not much older than myself decided to try to jump over the freezer display because I didn't give her enough Diet Coke. I ran in the back and cried. But no matter what, I was always nice to people and lived by the adage "the customer is always right". So why the hell don't people think that way anymore?

No I will NOT press 1!

Or maybe the better question is why don't they act like that? Is it the invention of call centers? Is it because there's less face-to-face interaction with the advent of the Internet?
Man that makes me sound old, and I'm not really that old, but it's true. Ever notice how easy it is to scream profanities at a telemarketer when they call, but you feel like a Jewish mother just slapped you with 4 pounds of guilt when trying to turn away the Jehovah's witnesses who showed up on your doorstep? I think there's been a lot of depersonalization within the last few years, of both customers and service people, and that probably isn't good.

Now don't get me wrong, I love shopping online as opposed to shoving off herds of giggly girls begging me if I would like socks or a belt with that, but unfortunately sometimes it's necessary to deal with a face rather than a telephone keypad. By the way, the paint on the # key on my phone is completely worn off. I think ideally if everything goes well when purchasing a product then the personal element isn't required. However, you and I both know that things never go off without any problems, and that's when it would be nice to not have to explain your story 43 times to 9 different people (if you can get one) on the other end of the phone.

The woes of the Whopper

Look honey, I'm really sorry you're unhappy that dropped out of high school to pursue a career as a Burger King cashier, but that's not my fault. There's no reason you should treat me like I bribed your math teacher in 10th grade to flunk you and then I artificially inseminated you while you were asleep with triplets and that I single-handedly created a ray gun that dematerializes anyone who doesn't work at fast food establishments. If I pull up to your drive-in window and I'm polite, prompt and clear with my order, why must you purposefully only give me 1 packet of ketchup and a sneer to boot? And if I ask for more condiments, please don't act like I just proclaimed that your mama looks like David Hasselhoff.

I did not steal your future

You may be thinking I'm a spoiled brat for wanting to be treated well by minimum wage and other abused and exploited workers. However, I think I've paid my dues: I worked in customer service and in the dreaded food service/wait staff field for 10 years. It may have made me jaded, but it also made me realize one thing: yes it may suck that you've got a crappy job right now, but it's your job and it is your duty to treat your customers like human beings. That's what they're paying you for. Customers don't owe you anything.

If you're happy with the 10-9 shift and all you want is to be able to come home and have pizza and beer every day then I'm happy for you too. But if you're feeling jilted by society and you're pissed that you are stuck where you are in life, don't blame the customer. Blame the government, blame the big corporations, blame your parents, but don't blame the person you're serving in line. And just because they're wearing a suit doesn't mean Viacom pays them to walk around sucker-punching customer service people. They could be wearing a suit because they have a job interview so they can get out from under their McDonalds job.