It seems that everyone is so wrapped up in their own tiny worlds that they are no longer even aware that other humans exist. They'll go halfway up the stairs in a busy subway station and stop to check something in their purse. Just stop. This is Toronto, there are always twenty people behind you. These self involved gestures tell me that people are not grounded into the space they are in. They don't know where they are. They are not aware they are in a subway station - they are between home and work. And that is the only train of thought their minds can handle. Eyes glazed over, anything in their way is a blurry obstacle. Even if it's a person in a wheelchair, it's just something to be pushed aside, or bumped into with a blink. People don't SEE anymore. (Which makes it easy to totally freak them out. Grin at them. Hard. Seriously - it's a hoot!)

And humans just don't think anymore either. What's this trend of spitting on the sidewalk? Good gravy - how could this even occur to you? Have you no respect for the rest of the people who will be walking along here today? Would you ever do that in front of your grandmother? What about children who are bound to drop things in your puddle of goo and chew on them later? You are spitting upon the city you are living in - that is disrespectful and bloody gross. (I've taken it upon myself to start screaming "Shame on you!" to men who do this. I strongly suggest that you join me.)

Speaking of disrespectful - can you believe that there are still women who douse themselves in chemicals, I mean perfume, and go the the office? Knowing full well that they will be in close contact with people on transit, in the elevators, in the lunchroom, the meeting room, the hallways - they just don't care. They know full well that the number of people with asthma, allergies and breathing problems is growing every day. They must know - how could you not know that? It's basic information. Placing toxic and carcinogenic chemicals on your skin and therefore into your bloodstream every day is outright stupidity, but that's your suicide. However, perfume has a blast radius of several metres, and you have NO right to take away someone else's right to breathe. How frikkin dare you! (I've spread the word in my workplace that I'm extremely allergic, and everyone has very nicely complied with my no-scent request. Why not do the same in your office, just for general health?)

When I purchased a cell phone last year, I thought for sure I was joining the ranks of the assholes. I didn't think there was any further hope for me. But while reading the manual, I discovered something - it has a SILENT feature! It also has a very quiet, very plain beep mode. So it seems the assholes who blast tinny songs at random intervals, scaring the daylights out of those around them, really aren't assholes at all. They are simply too stupid to read the manual, and therefore deserve our pity, not our rage. (You can always point this out to them. "Nice phone - sad yours doesn't come with a Volume Down button." Then you glare. Hard.)

The art of the glare is apparently not being used to its fullest extent anymore. Many years ago, a glare from a stranger in public would point out your lack of social graces, and you'd shape up quickly. After all, it was the honour of your family and your good name at stake. But the city is so large and anonymous now, citizens have lost the art of giving a shit. And it's an art I am truly trying to bring back. Being aware of those around you, and acting in a civilized fashion should not be too much to expect from humans who are able to walk upright and dress themselves. And although it's true that I'd really love to slap your mother for having a raised a mannerless dolt, she's not here right now. You are.. Look out.

Cynthia Gould is a Toronto painter, & performance poet. She has appeared on TV & radio, and in print in everything from newspapers to zines to Reader's Digest. She co-authored the poetry book "Some Words Spoken", published through Burning Effigy Press (http://www.somewordsspoken.com). She is currently working on a rewrite of her first novel, and plotting global domination through happy jewel coloured paintings. Check out her art at http://www.cynthiagould.com, sign up for her e-mail list at http://cynthiagould.coffeehouse.ca No, really, sign up for the mailing list right now! Cynthia has several solo art shows coming up, spoken word performances, and crazy events such as Bridesmaidmania on the horizon. (You cannot stop one hundred drunken bridesmaids!) Chat to Cynthia at cyan_hit@yahoo.ca