Little Gems
Sometimes I have to admit that I actually enjoy riding the streetcar in this city. (Please note that I said ‘streetcar’ and not ‘subway’ because, believe me, there is a difference.) I don’t know what it is about the subway system in Toronto, but it seems to bring out the very worst in people; I have been pushed and shoved and sworn at so many times over the course of my fourteen year stay here that I am now impervious to it, and I have seen more than my fair share of pissing, puking and public fornicating than I care to admit, but it seems to me that behavior like this never happens above ground. In fact, streetcar behavior in this city actually borders on being polite.

I was making my way back from my weekly vegetable run to Kensington Market and, as usual, the Spadina streetcar was packed with like-minded people. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Toronto, Kensington Market is made up of some of the funkiest second hand clothing and jewelry stores you are likely to find anywhere; it is a place where many cultures meet, a haven for poets, musicians, health nuts and coffee addicts, and it is my favorite place to hunt for vegetables. I am not alone in this, on any given day the streets of Kensington are bursting with people and it is this energy that keeps me coming back. The only downside of my visits to the Market is the inevitable and uncomfortable streetcar ride back home. This particular ride was no different from all the others; we were packed in like sardines with no room to breathe let alone to set down heavy bags. I was being pushed from behind by two teenaged girls who were obviously trying to be ‘street’ by their creative use of the word ‘fuck’, and in to a man who, judging by the odor emanating from him, had not used a bar of soap in a very long time. My frayed fuse was just about to ignite when I spied an elderly lady and her friend struggling with their packages ahead of me.

Before I go any further let me just say that nothing bothers me more than elderly people or pregnant women being forced to stand up on public transit because no one will offer up their seat. I have given up my seat for many a person over the years and I was of the belief that only other women understood the seating rule, and that is simply because I have never seen a man act in a gentlemanly manner. Today I witnessed a little gem that proved my theory wrong. The two ladies were struggling with their packages when a middle aged man not only stood up but told his teenaged son to stand as well. I overheard him offering their seats to the ladies and then going one step further by offering to hold their bags as they sat down. As father and son were getting off I overheard him say to the boy ‘you always offer your seat. Period.’

I am so glad that I witnessed this little gem of a moment; it makes me realize that there are fathers out there willing to take the time to teach their sons not only how to be men, but how to be Gentlemen. It makes me so angry when I see a perfectly capable and fit man sitting down on the subway or streetcar when an elderly person is forced to stand; I have gotten into arguments with teenagers and grown men alike because they have simply refused to do the right thing and let others who are more in need have their seat. But today I didn’t need to. Today I got to see two Gentlemen, one teacher and one apprentice, in action. I find it hard to say without it sounding cheesy, but it gave me hope. It makes me think that good manners and common human decency aren’t dead but only hidden, and when they are brought out they can make a world of difference in another person’s day.