Watch
Out Rocky…
Never
in my life did I ever think I would find myself in front
of a punching bag but that’s exactly where I’ve
been spending most of my time these last few weeks. That’s
right, me, the person who used to break out in hives at
the mere mention of exercise, and who cannot stand the place
where she works has actually been going into that cesspool
early to (gasp!) work out. I can hardly believe it myself
but I have found that I have so much more energy than I
did before and I am actually sleeping better than I have
in years, and it’s all because I decided that I just
needed to hit something.
Now
I am not a violent person by nature. Yes, I have a horrible
temper but I would never dream of turning that anger into
a violent act against another person; I have also never
believed that acts of violence like hitting or punching
have ever solved anything. This is why I have never understood
the fascination that some people have with boxing. To me
boxing has always been bloody, brutal and absolutely pointless,
I mean who would want to watch a sport where two people
dance around in a ring and try to beat the shit out of each
other? And what kind of moron would put himself in the position
of being beaten to within an inch of his life just to satisfy
some machismo need to feel like a man? To me that’s
not a man of the twenty-first century, it’s some chromosomes
left over from the Cro-Magnon era where man had a brain
the size of a pea. This is precisely the reason why I was
so astounded to find myself a in room full of people all
geared up to learn how to beat the shit out of each other
in a civilized and law abiding manner.
During
the last few weeks my emotions have really been out of whack,
one minute I’m crying and the next I’m biting
someone’s head off, and I have no idea why. I have
tried everything I can think of to calm myself and none
of it has worked. I have meditated, gone for long walks,
I’ve even tried to Feng Shui my apartment but I got
pissed off when I couldn’t find where my emotional
center should be. I was so upset at one point that I actually
thought I was losing my mind. Everything had built up so
much that I felt like I was losing my grip, like my head
was a tornado that just kept churning and spewing debris
everywhere. It finally came to a head a few weeks back when
my father returned a present that I had sent to him stating
that he didn’t like it. He didn’t like it. A present
that I had sent to him not for any special reason but just
because I was thinking of him and he sent it back. I couldn’t
believe it. I was so hurt and angry that I couldn’t
think straight, I knew that if I didn’t find something
right then and there I would tear my hair out and the closest
thing I found was the boxing ring at work. When I got back
there I felt like I was going to explode and as soon as
my fist hit the bag it all came out, all of my hurt, fear,
sadness, everything. I kept hitting and hitting until my
knuckles hurt, my throat was sore and my eyes were burning,
and when I finally stopped I realized that I wasn’t
alone. The boxing instructor was standing by the door and
staring at me with a look that was half confused and half
shocked. I suppose I probably looked like a madwoman but
I didn’t care anymore. When I tried to get past him
he put his hand on my shoulder and told me to be in class
the next day and he would show me how to punch.
I
really honestly thought I knew how to punch. I mean there’s
nothing to it, right? Anyone with two brain cells can do
it, you just close your hand into a fist and strike as hard
you can and as fast as you can, and it really doesn’t
matter where you hit. Well, I couldn’t have been more
wrong. The first step in working the punch bag is to clear
your mind of everything except for your focal point and
the second step is to release all tension from your body
so that you are free to move along with the motion of the
bag. The final step is to never let your emotions cloud
your judgment; you must always be focused on where your
fist is going. These may sound like very simple rules but
believe me they are tough ones to learn. Calmness, Focus,
Release.
I’m
certainly not going to become the next Million Dollar Baby
but I will tell you this: sometimes there is no other option.
Sometimes you just need to hit something as long as you’re
not hurting anyone else in the process. Sometimes you just
need to hit something and it’s okay as long as there’s
a reason for it.
he