THE
INTERVIEW
I
don’t know about the rest of the world but nothing
scares me as much as being interviewed for a new job. Many
of my mates have expressed feelings of frustration, anxiety
and exasperation when I asked them how they’ve felt
in the interview process, but none of them have come clean
and expressed out and out fear. I am terrified at
the prospect of going into a room full of strangers and
having to sell myself because, in a nutshell, I suck at
it.
I
am not one of those people who can walk into a room full
of strangers and feel completely at ease; I am one of those
people who feel like they're being put in front of a firing
squad. I am incredibly shy when I first meet someone new,
in fact I am usually unable to make eye contact, and that
is what makes the interviewing process so hard for me. The
most important part of an interview is being able to impress
your potential employer with the wins and goals that you
have achieved in your professional life, well, the only
thing I’ve ever won was Third Place in the Long Jump
when I was seven, and I don’t really think a potential
employer would be impressed with my shiny purple ribbon
no matter how pretty it still is. My problem with being
interviewed is that when they ask what I see myself doing
in five years and I say that in five years I plan on being
a published and successful writer, they reply ‘No seriously.
Where do you see yourself in five years?’
What
is so wrong with wanting to follow my dream? Every time
I go in for an interview I get the same look that reads
‘You delusional ridiculous child, when are you going
to grow up?’ and I end up not getting the job because
I refuse to tell them what they want to hear: that I will
give up my soul for a 9 to 5 job. I have been giving away
bits of my soul for the last two years and I am just now
starting to piece it back together. This last job has been
a blessing and a curse; I have been tempted many times to
give up the ghost and accept the fact that I may never be
a published, successful writer, but being in this job has
made me realize that I am not a 9 to 5 kind of gal. I have
had almost every ounce of my dignity and self worth taken
away because of this job, I have been treated as a scapegoat
and a dogsbody, running around and doing everything for
everyone and never receiving so much as a ‘thank you’,
but I have also been provided with so much fodder for my
writing that I will have no problem writing an entire volume
of work about my employers.
So
in the spirit of keeping my goal in sight I decided to face
my fear and put myself in the hot seat again. I began to
put out my resume on the Internet and I have to say that
I had quite a lot of responses and one in particular stood
out from the rest. This particular job was with a small
up and coming consulting group in downtown Toronto who were
looking for someone with a writing background to help them
out. I couldn’t believe it! This job had ME written
all over it! For the first time in a long time I felt excited
about the possibility of a new experience and when I met
them I was immediately put at ease. This in itself is completely
unheard of! Me being at ease in an interview.
But I was at ease and it was all due to the environment
surrounding me. Two men who kept describing themselves as
‘geeks’ were interviewing me in what can only
be described as a very hip little office with cheesy but
appropriate muzak playing in the background. We spent most
of the interview talking about my writing and my involvement
with Shebytches, and when one of them piped up and said
that he had gone through the site and read most of my articles
I knew that this environment was what I needed. I left the
interview feeling like I had just spent the last hour with
a comedy team from MENSA. Luck was on my side and I got
a second interview and I left feeling the exact same way.
I
didn’t end up getting the job and I would be lying
if I said I wasn’t upset, but the most important thing
came back to me: my self-confidence. I am so glad that I
put myself out there again because if I hadn’t, if
I had remained terrified, then I would never have met these
amazing guys. The entire interview process was put into
perspective for me and I know now how to handle it better.
The first (and most important) thing I remembered is that
my dream, my goal, is the center of my life and anyone who
doesn’t understand that will never understand me. I
have to be able to express myself in my personal life as
well as my job life, and secondly, an interviewer should
never make an interviewee feel embarrassed about expressing
his or her passion/goal. It is only a matter of time before
I reach my goal but in the meantime I will continue to put
myself out there with 100% honesty.
Slightly
neurotic, extremely passionate writer looking for a job
to pay the rent. Any takers?
he