Flex it!

I've been lifting weights for a few years now and recently a friend of mine asked me if I'm not a bit intimidated by the men. She said that she only attends "women's only" hours because it's a less "oppressive" environment. I told her that I wouldn't touch a women's only gym experience with a ten-foot pole.

There's something unappealing about being surrounded only by women at the gym. I see the women who come during normal hours, and I wouldn't really want to be surrounded by 50 or so of them. I mean, these women show up in coordinated outifits, they workout obsessively on the treadmills and stairmasters and efx machines, and then they spend a few minutes either lifting light weights (because they don't want to "bulk-up") or using the leg machines in some desperate attempt to get a "toned" ass. Honestly, I really wouldn't mind them so much if they did that and kept to themselves. What I hate the most about them is the way they check out the other women.

In the weight area of my gym, there are only men. On occasion, though, there are women. They inevitably stand next to me and give me a good up-and-down look. They're usually a lot slimmer than me and better dressed. I mean, I go to the gym in a ratty pair of yoga pants (the only pair I own) and one of my six man-shaped T-shirts, so it isn't really hard to be better dressed than me. It bugs me, though, that someone would compare themselves to me to feel better about themselves. Having a woman stare in derision at my body and my outfit bugs me more than anything that the men can throw my way.

Now, you might think that a woman in the gym is going to be intimidated by the men. You'd think that the men would throw their weight around and push around some woman and make her feel weak and powerless. Instead, the opposite is true: a woman in a predominantly male area is intimidating to the men. For example, the other day I told a guy who was writhing in pain while lifting weights that he should watch out. I said this in the nicest way possible, but the guy just acted like a wienie and gave me this stupid, condescending smile, as if I had no idea what I was talking about. Later on I noticed that he was lifting the same weight as me. Obviously, he was a bit pissed that he couldn't manage to lift as much as a "girl," and, to boot, the girl noticed that he was having a hard time. I asked my boyfriend about it, and he said that men are a bit sensitive about not looking like weaklings.

I don't feel the need to be strong on the same level that men feel it. Men are supposed to be the strong protectors of women-folk. This is their societally-imposed image. It's slightly more healthy than the pressures faced by women. In a "women's only" gym setting, I'd be repeatedly hit with the feeling that I should be slimmer, prettier and younger. I'd constantly feel the need to be well-dressed and made-up. I'd need to look good for all these women. As much as I'd complain that they'd be comparing themselves to me, I'd be comparing myself to them. I know I would just feel awful, standing there in my ratty outfit, my hair in a billion mis-matched barrettes, my body a lumpy-but-muscular mess, while a whole bunch of svelte women would be working out in carefully-assembled two-piecers, their hair pushed back with fashionable hair bands.

On a theoretical level, I understand that in a women-only environment, women shouldn't be dressing up because there are no men to impress (assuming that 90% of the gym population is heterosexual). But women (even heterosexual women) dress as much, if not more, to impress each other as to impress men. This idea that women aren't competitive is bullshit. Women are totally competitive and they compete on a desirability scale. If I want to feel crappy about my level of desirability, I can reach into the magazine rack near the Stairmaters and treadmills and pull-out a copy of Châtelaine, Cosmo or Elle and stare at digitally-altered, impossibly-thin-and-pretty, 15-year-old girls.

Sure, I understand that not all women at the gym are pretty, young things, running around feeling better about themselves because they haven't hit thirty yet and are on the lower end of their target weight range, but as long as there are women who care about this at the gym, I'd rather be in the company of men who only care that they can lift heavier weights than me. If I'm going to lose a competition, I want it to be in a competition that no one ever expected me to win.