My Style!

There's this independent weekly in Toronto that has this column called "My Style." In it, they interview urban hipsters about what they're wearing and what their personal style is. I read that column every week. I like reading it because it reminds me of how I wanted to dress ten years ago. Because it seems that hip, urban style hasn't changed in ten years.

But sometimes I wish that they'd stop me on the street and ask me about my style. Sure, my clothes aren't bought at bohemian places in Kensington Market, and none of my woolens were knit by friends or family members (but my mom is knitting me a scarf), but my clothes are still cool. And even though I'm not as interesting as someone who works as a juicer at a Vegan restaurant called something like "Parsnip Hooray," I would still want to be featured. So I present to you...

Snad's My Style

Who: Snad. Disgruntled ex-grad-student, now permanent job-hunter and campus radio volunteer. Waiting to get that job that will pay the big bucks so she can move into the hip part of town.

Where: On the street. Downtown. On her way to meet friends for drinks. What? You want something more specific? Ok. Um. Infront of a parking meter. On King Street. Or are we on Front Street? I have no idea where I am.

When: Friday night.

Clothes: I bought this fugly ski jacket two years ago at the Mexx warehouse when they were getting rid of their winter stuff from two season's before. So it's basically four years out of date. Everyone thinks it's nice, but I can't stand it. It cost me $75 dollars or something like that. It was a real steal. You can actually drop anything you want on it and it'll come off with a bit of soap. I've dropped coffee, beer and tea on it, and it's not any worse for wear. It's even machine-washable! My slightly-overworn corduroys are from Buffalo. They were having a half-price sale two years ago and I found these. I think they've shrunk a bit in the wash. I can't remember how much I paid for them. My boots are real lambskin. They have lambswool on the inside, which is a bitch because it pulls my socks down. They aren't Ugs, if you're wondering. These are Pajars. I think they only sell these in Montreal. In any case, they were cheap because they had been discontinued, which is understandable when you realize that the zippers open up when you walk for more than 20 minutes. My hat and gloves were bought at Central Station in Montreal when I realized that Montreal was a few degrees colder than Toronto. My T-shirt is from Club Monaco. It's very black and it's something nice and casual to wear to a funeral. Not that I'm going to a funeral tonight, or anything. I'm just saying. I'm going out for drinks tonight. Will this T-shirt bring bad luck now? But at least I'm covering it with a black, wool sweater from Benetton. It's a classic piece, meaning that it won't go out of style so I can wear it for a few years. My last sweater like it lasted for six years before it fell apart. I really can't stand shopping.

Accessories and Make-Up: I got this belt at Bluenotes. It looks exactly like the one that's sold in all the trendy stores, but it's made of better leather and costs half as much. My watch was a gift from my mom in 1998. I need a new watch. Parts of this watch have fallen off. Maybe I can sound pitiful and get my mom to buy me another one. I'm wearing some green Rimmel eyeliner and some L'Oreal Mascara. They were both on sale at Shoppers a few weeks ago. I don't know if they're tested on animals. What kind of question is that? I used to buy MAC make-up because it wasn't tested on animals and it was good quality, but then I decided to go to grad school and had to deal with a crappy salary, so I stopped buying from MAC. A MAC shadow costs $14! That's a lot for a grad student! So I don't care whether or not the make-up I buy is tested on animals anymore. Once I get a decent income, I'll become socially responsible and environmentally conscious again.

Hair: Cut by a guy in Montreal. I can't find a decent hairdresser in Toronto. They all seem to cut hair the same way. Like there are only three haircuts in Toronto. Maybe I'm just a snob.

Your style: "Grad school cheap?" I don't like shopping, so I buy one or two pieces at a time and hope that they match something I already own. Hey? Are you guys from "What Not To Wear?" Are Stacy and Clinton going to give me US$5000 for a new wardrobe? Because I'm looking for work and I have no clothes that are work-appropriate because I've been a grad student and totally poor for the past ten years and haven't had enough money to buy nice things. Whaddya mean you're not from "What Not To Wear?" So what's the deal with asking me all these questions? You really want to know what my personal style is? Please! Do I look as if I have style? Hey! Where are you going? Are you going to put this in your shitty magazine? I read it so I can send you nasty letters to the editor. But I read it! Which is more than most people do with it. Unless you consider all those people who use it as birdcage liner. Hey! Come back! I'll cooperate! I'll get my hair cut in Kensington Market! I'll learn how to knit and I won't make fun of it! Please! Come back!

If you have comments about this article please email us @ comments@shebytches.com. We will post them on the right. Snad can be contacted at snad@shebytches.com