I live in Toronto; I am in my early 30's and moved to Canada approximately 10 years ago. Life is stressful these days but who's isn't really? I am an intelligent, attractive girl who is single in the city. For the following true story I will change all names to protect the innocent (or is that to protect the guilty?)

Briefly I will tell you the history leading up to February 16th 2005, a day I will never and always forget. I had met a young man in his late 30's whilst in a restaurant in Toronto with an ex boyfriend. This well groomed slightly balding man of average height and looks got my attention through his amusing and slightly cynical outlook on life. He clearly thought that having shaved his head completely that he miraculously transformed himself into a 'fine young cannibals' type of trendy woman magnet because as we left he blatantly handed me his card in front of my ex and said I should call him. My ex furiously ripped the card into pieces and ceremoniously hurled them out of the car window.

I did not contact this man, lets call him Peter, until one day my x2 girlfriends & I were in a bar that I remembered he said he often frequented. I decided to ask the barmaid if she new of a man called Peter with a similar accent to mine, amazingly she did and wrote down his cell number on a card for me. Well I think my friends & I would be forgiven to think that fate had just stepped in with romance on the horizon. I called and left him a simple message stating that we should get together if he remembers me. He called me back immediately from 'The Old Country' where we both originated, he would call me again on his return to plan a meeting.

So February 16th came and Peter called me, I agreed to meet that evening for drinks at 6 p.m. I was excited that he sounded like such a nice guy and that we would have so much in common. I had a bite to eat so that my stomach would not embarrassingly sing and dressed for a first date (cool jeans & a pretty but trendy black top!) Setting out for one of the most expensive bars in town, I picked up about $150 cash on the way in case he would be so uncivil as to expect me to pay. I drove through rush hour hence a 45-minute delay, which I communicated over the cell phone to a very calm and forgiving Peter already at the bar.

Peter spotted me immediately on arrival, we chatted easily although none of the traditional compliments came my way and conversation was always focused upon him. He didn't like to work too hard, liked to enjoy life, and had been married, travelled etc., etc. I asked him how he recognized me and he said that he had actually seen me at another restaurant x2 weeks ago with my x2 friends who he referred to stiltedly as 'Black girls!' I was immediately unnerved for some reason was it the way he referred to my dearest friendships, the fact that he observed us that night but did not come over? I wasn't sure but I filed these thought at the back of the cabinet under the category 'over zealous first date sarcasm'?

He mentioned on a couple of occasions that he really was a horrible person and I laughed!!!!!!!!!!! Laughed I will flee across country & woodlands, red cape flowing, if I ever hear that line again.

So, this is where it begins: I chose a glass of Australian Pinot Noir, which I liked. About 30-35 minutes later Peter asked if I would like another...I accepted... I had a couple of sips and suddenly felt very tired, after this moment I remember events only sporadically until 1am.

I am cognisant of entering a taxi a cab headed towards a restaurant down town, I do not remember the bill being paid at the bar or leaving. I then arrived at the restaurant door with no recollection of the 15-20min journey.

Intermittently I have memory of the dinning table, Peter ordering a starter for me and starter & main course for himself with a bottle of wine. I couldn't think straight but I do remember crying & not knowing why I was crying. Peter ate his dinner with me crying opposite him as far as I can gather. We stayed there until about 11 p.m. but I don't remember this bill being paid either or how I ended up in another taxi heading for my house but with only $7 in my hand which left me short of my destination by a 10 min walk.

Miraculously I was suddenly at my door crying hysterically & uncontrollably in an alien manner. Panicked I called my friend abroad (at 4.30am his time so I knew later that I had arrived home at 11.30 our time.) he was increasingly concerned at my inability to breathe between sobs & screams and putting down of the phone. I eventually calmed down after an apparently alarming 1/2hr during which my friend was poised to call 911 for me. I awoke the next day with a headache but strangely no feeling of nausea as you do when you drink too much.

I opened my wallet & realized my money had disappeared. I tried to piece the evening together & I couldn't. A text message to Peter asking what the hell happened, why I couldn't remember & that my money had gone lead to no response? I left the same message on his answer phone. Several hours later he responded with a very short & stilted message naming the bar & restaurant we went to, my money paid the bill at the restaurant, I got in a cab, -------- off and he asked me not to call him back.

I called my friend Alicia, who was excitedly awaiting the outcome of my evening. Instead, she was horrified. We went over everything step by step with Alicia paying the utmost attention to each detail questioning and clarifying every moment as much as she could. We noted that each of us can drink at least a bottle of wine with only a slightly tipsy feeling and we are no strangers to a wine evening or two. She was scared and said I should call the police...............I didn't want to...............I never understand why I immediately feel everything has to be my fault some how. I said I would call the restaurants first.

I spoke to the restaurant manager whom quickly came to the conclusion that something had been put in my drink but with no alarm in her voice as if this was something that commonly happened. She then found the waiter who served us and I asked if I had been behaving strangely. He said well you were disorientated and I thought that you were on some sort of chemical drug like acid or 'G' (What ever G is!) He said I was quiet and upset but he assumed that the man with me was known to me for a long time as he seemed so comfortable with me and even had the same accent. He said he was sorry but he knew he served us a bottle of wine and that I only had about half a glass so he defiantly did not contribute to my state. He did let me know that the bill was paid with a $100 bill & a $50 bill neither of which I had in my now empty purse as I had received all $20 bills from the bank machine. I then called the 1st bar & yes they remembered me but nothing was wrong & I only had 1 & 1/2 glasses of wine.

I had left a message for Brian, another friend who is a towering 6ft 3 & a burley, handsome hockey player whom I expected to get mad and want to break down Peter's door or at least come over so I could telephone the police in his presence. When Brian called and I briefly related the situation, he was at an industry function and was ecstatic because he had won the main raffle prize and really didn't pay any attention to me but said he would call tomorrow!

I called Alicia back who of course understood the seriousness of the situation and was extremely empathetic. I honestly believe she was feeling as much hurt as I was. We went over the restaurant
feedback..............we were scared this unthreatening little balding guy was a predator, who else had he done this too, did he know where I lived and what would he do next? Also what was the motive????? We mused that perhaps instead of responding favorably to this drug & becoming playful it had the opposite effect on my stressed state and I was not perfect for a staring role in his warped mind. Perhaps he was trying out this drug or just simply gets a kick out of incapacitating women..................We couldn't speculate anymore I had to call the police, Alicia was right.!!!!!!!!!

I spoke to a wonderfully calm and nurturing policeman who, after establishing that I had not been physically touched in any way, which I count my blessings for, filled a report for me and thanked me for calling as this was the right thing to do. Should this happen to someone else and they mention his name a report would already have been filled and they could stop him from abusing women this way again.

WHAT IF WHAT IF WHAT IF! I WAS LUCKY BUT YOU MIGHT NOT BE!.....................PLEASE BE CAREFUL OF THE SHEEP OUT THERE as well as the wolves. TELL SOMEONE WHERE YOU ARE GOING! Alicia and I now give each other the telephone numbers of the people we are going to meet just in case!!!!

If anything like this happens to you or you suspect a similar occurrence, report it. These sick people are cowards and need to pay for their crimes.
Name Withheld

Note from Editor-In-Chief.
Unfortunately events like this happen way too often! If you have been a date rape drug victim or a victim of sexual assault, please go to your nearest emergency room and report it to the police immediately.

Here is the information for the rape crisis centre as well as link to our Women’s Resources Page.

Toronto Rape Crisis Centre
For Women Languages spoken: English, Spanish
Accessibility: Wheelchair accessible building including main entrance and washrooms.
Service Area: Metropolitan Toronto and surrounding areas
Office Hours: Monday to Friday: 9:00 am to 5:00 pm
Office Phone: 416-597-1171
Office Fax: 416-597-9648
Contact Phone: 597-1171
Toll Free: we accept collect calls
Hotline: 416-597-8808
TTY: 416-597-1214
trcc@web.net

http://www.shebytches.com/womensresources.html

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